Maryam 5th Birthday

Happy 5th Birthday to the most wonderful daughter of mine... Alhamdulillah, Maryam turned 5 this month. we had a bit of celebration at home and at school. but today I wanted to share a few memories of her school birthday celebration last Friday.


Strawberry shortcake theme

Tahun ni I decided not to give out any goodies bag to the children, instead I ordered Bento meals for them. Maryam is having a bit of allergy this time, so I removed all the foods that I suspected she is allergic to especially junk foods/fast foods. Alhamdulillah , I managed to find somebody who could prepare bento on a large scale.. she is a home based baker and skilful too.. boleh buat dessert also boleh masak homemade foods prepared from scratch...lega rasa. Paling penting terasa guilty-free sebab tak menjamu apa-apa jenis junk foods to the kids. I could easily put stationaries or other stuffs as goodies bag for the kids, but it was not cost-effective for me. rasa macam membazir jugak. Hence, I niatkan dalam hati bagi anak-anak tu makan as kenduri sajalah... seronok tengok depa enjoy the foods. Menu in the bento were Bolognese spagetthi kuah tak pakai preggo okay.. dia buat sendiri to suit the kids. ada buah, ada homemade cookies, ada homemade bun too. Kenyang depa makan hari tu.

Let's check out some of the pics,

Bento for the kids

Maryam and friends enjoying their meals
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pandai makan!



Cake cutting with her favourite teacher - Cikgu Siti Eshah. Happy lah dia!



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Again, HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY anak mommy yang baik dan solehah... You know we love you very much and always doa the best for you. Soon, you will be a KAKAK and I know you will be the best kakak anyone could ever ask for! LOVE YOU DARLING!

YES, I'm pregnant.... Alhamdulillah. ;)

USM 53rd Convocation

one of my fav picture with my baby

Alhamdulillah,

Finally... Master Of Education (English Language Education/ TESOL) dalam genggaman. Alahmdulillah... truly no words to describe the feelings inside. Cuma perasaan sangat-sangat bersyukur ke hadrat Yang Maha Esa kerana tanpa izinNya, apalah saja yang ada pada diri kita yang sungguh kerdil lagi tiada daya ini.

My convocation day took place at USM last saturday, 30th April 2016. I would say that it was one of the best days in my life and definitely the highlight of this year. Bukan senang belajar kan? yang melalui sahaja yang tahu apa rasanya. So, best wishes to those who are still struggling to get their degrees done, BE STRONG! Nak bagi nasihat pun i rasa you all lagi bijak to decide what's the best for yourself, kan!

Nak bercerita sakan sangat tentang my concocation day rasanya tak banyak nak cerita kat sini, gambar pun masih lagi diproses di kedai gambar. Yang dalam phone biasalah... banyak sangat. tak sempat nak go through semua pilih2 yang mana sesuai untuk dipamerkan.. cukuplah sekeping dua gambar di sini buat kenangan. :)

With my dear friend Hani. dan tangkap gamabq baru perasan baju sama color ;p

Luckily, ada jugak sahabat yang sama-sama berkonvo kali ni named Hani. we met on the first day of registration nak buat Master. Dari situ we became close together with a few more friends yang dah selamat konvo last November 2015. So, ours is more like a small convo which majority of the graduates received their Masters dan PhD during this convocation. So, a bit personal and definitely more excitement kot, sebab  yang paling ramai adalah penerima ijazah tinggi. So, #teamkonvokecil memang best! Dan.. konvo ada anak lagi bermana tau... heheh...

picture credit: USM Official

As of now, patiently waiting for my on stage picture to  be ready and delivered to my doorstep. harap tak lah pelik sangat muka i atas pentas tu.. huhu.. ONE TIP to take a proper looking picture while recieving your scroll, SAY "THANKS" or "TERIMA KASIH" instead of "THANK YOU" just to make sure your mouth doesn't look funnehh...

Pre Convo mood

The time is getting nearer... yeayyy.... i am very much looking forward to my convocation day which is happening very soon.... NEXT WEEK!! 30th April 2016 to be precise~ lantak lah kalau ada makhluk2 yang tak boleh berfikiran positive and happy for others turr nak kata i sangat over dan "perok buih" ( ni bahasa kampung i ja ni)... yang paham, paham lah! ;P

Nak konvo ni dilemma sangat nak bawak masuk sapa sebagai tetamu kali ni... during my previous time, masa buat 1st degree dulu it was very simple, sebab tak kawen lagi...so my mak and my brother came to witness the occasion. the second time around ni i was confident enough yang my mak dan my husband yang akan jadi my guests to enter the hall - unfortunately, my mak said she might not enter the hall this time around, maybe faktor usia kot..dia rasa tak larat nak duduk berjam-jam lama dah... then my husband pulak kata dia rasa biar mak yang masuk dengan my niece and he would wait outside with Maryam which also i feel kesian pulak dia. We has planned for family photo later after i keluar dewan. sebab tu it's quite important for me to have my mak, my husband and my daughter to be there. Each graduate is only allowed to bring in 2 adults as guests sebab it is a fornal event, so children are not allowed. i wish Maryam could enter the hal to see me walking up the stage getting my scroll, it would be a good experience and exposure to her too. *sigh*

Then, i invited my eldest kakak to join in with her daughter (my niece yang i nak bawak tu), you know what she said?

"kakak hanya masuk dewan tu when u get your Ph.D nanti"

krik...krik..krikk...

Adoi.

So, okay i pegi konvo kali ni sorang diri sajalah nampaknya.. keluar dewan nanti suruh depa semua mai kita pi begambaq kat kedai depan USM tu... selesai masalah. nak bergambar with friends macam zaman 1st degree dulu rasanya kali ni dah tak kuasa.. masing-masing mak2 dan pak2 orang dah...hahahha...

Ok, jomlah tengok cara pakai jubah, kalung dan topi konvo USM jap.. nak feeling sat. Our Academic Gown or pakaikan akademik or senang cerita jubah konvo sangatlah simple as compared to other Universities. Bukan sebab USM tak kreative ye.. it's actually jubah yang ada prestige okay. kalau tengok jubah2 universiti2 terkemuka dunia like Cambridge, Harvard, etc, semua simple kan!! perasaan tak? perasan tak???

I think this might be the last journey of me being on stage to grab my scroll.. i cannot see myself doing Ph.D so far. bukan sebab my CGPA teruk ka apa okay, mind you, my CGPA is a little over 3.5 this time ye. Alhamdulillah. BUT, maybe the road towards Ph.D belum lagi terbuka dari Yang Maha Esa. I have sooo many people who have so much faith in me to pursue the Ph.D but unfortunately i do not have the same faith in me. i am way toooo afraid to try. it is not something that you can just jump into and deal with kalau iman tak kuat i rasa... so, i kena banyak2 muhasabah diri dulu. Also cari sponsor, hehh!

As for now, i am pretty happy with who i am now. Alhamdulillah.

Next week dengan izin Allah, kita pakai baju konvo uols!!

hipp..hipp..horay!

YES I DID IT!

 

hahh, tnampak tak status FB i yang agak "kerek" "belagak" "ntah apa-apa" di situ??

Wallahi, langsung tiada secebis niat di hati ingin berbangga apa lagi berasa hebat setelah selesainya pengajian peringkat sarjana kali ini. Instead, i think i am forever grateful with the blessing upon me. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Banyak ranjau onak duri yang dilalui sepanjang 2 tahun 4 bulan (kot) dalam usaha menghambakan diri kepada ilmu ni. Yes, i would say i slaved myself for the sake of knowledge. Mengutip banyak pengalaman hidup yang agak banyak kali ini berbanding masa 1st degree dulu. Belajar kali ini agak enjoyable sebab kerja di pejabat itu sendiri dah meletihkan dan kadang-kadang agak frust dengan environment kerja. so bila ada rezeki dan keizinanNya untuk sambung belajar ni, i would say i truly tried my hardest and the best i could at my studies. Alhamdulillah, hasil tidak terlalu mengecewakan pada setiap semester. i found joy and happiness and a sense of satisfaction when i managed to score the papers i took. Alhamdulillah, dengan izinNya. 

I mentioned that the journey i took was not an easy one. Financially, emotionally, physically semua lah... mencabar rasanya...dan tercabar jugak ada kalanya. The sacrifice part will always be the memory that i would always treasure deep inside my heart, and i hope all of the things i went through just to get my Master done, will make me a much matured person and of course a much better servant of Allah S.W.T.

I would never forget the day i had to pay for my Thesis registration and semester registration which cost me almost 4K. at that particular time Raya was around the corner. Imagine, masa tu nak raya dan you had had to fork out a lot to pay your yuran... masa tu memang tak ada baju raya. i just beli baju raya untuk Maryam. while husband and myself memang tak ada baju raya.. sebab bajet dah lari sangat2... sedih?? pilu?? jeles tengok kawan2 berbaju raya?? berkuih raya?? beraya-raya??? Allahu... hanya Dia yang mengetahui perasaan.. but i pretended i was okay...pakai je baju kerja..bukan orang tahu pun kan? dalam hati menahan semua godaan syaitan yang tak jemu mengusik hati bila terpandang kegembiraan sanak saudara..tapi i on the other end, dalam bank ada duit cukup2 or maybe tak berapa cukup untuk suvived kami 3 beranak sampai i punya next gaji.... huhuk...

i bukan anak orang kaya.

bukan ada kaum keluarga yang ada ada.

lagilah suami yang berada.

so, boleh imagine tak.. duit gaji bulan2 tu pegi ke mana? banyak commitments. i cuma rakyat yang sedang struggle to meet end needs. gitu...selain bayar hutang, bayar pulak duit Master...huhu..

Tu antara kisah yang biasa kita dengar bila belajar pakai duit sendiri.. ada lagi a few kisah yang i rasa terlalu personal untuk dikongsi di khalayak umum... ;)

yes, FINANCIALLY sangat2 mencabar bila you have to finance your own studies. biasiswa?? amboi... banyak laa sangat kerajaan hari ni nak bagi biasiswa kan... yang dapat kena tarik balik ramai la kot. hahaha...

belum bercerita bab EMOTIONALLY sepanjang buat Master, PHYSICALLY bagai... betapa letihnya badan lepas kerja pegi pulak kelas. tu yang selalu ponteng tu..hahahhaa....

Cabaran dan dugaan adalah part and parcel dalam kehidupan kita. i don't think semua orang punya Master jouney is a smooth sailing one. kadang2 dugaan datang bertimpa-timpa. time tengah banyak asignment lah anak nak sakit, keja opis menimbun, masalah family, haihh... macam2 lah yang datang sekali... anatara tabah dan dan kurang tabah saja kita sebagai hambaNya. all these have taught me to be a stronger person kot. to be more flexible. to be more creative in solving anything that comes my way, Inshaa Allah. 

Hanya kepada Allah tempat mengadu kerana apa guna diadu adu kepada manusia... setakat mana sahaja manusia boleh memahami??  But, Alhamdulillah... Allah kurniakan kawan-kawan yang sangat baik sepanjang perjalanan itu. To:- FARAH AND MALA, i love you girls very much. TERIMA KASIH... *lap ayaq mata* i think kami 3 orang dah saling meluah rasa banyak sangat2..hahahha...

Satu benda yang i dapat sepanjang perjalanan itu, i rasa i become a person yang lebih banyak bertawakal kepada Allah after every effort i make. Solat terasa lebih kusyuk bila hati terlalu berat dan sarat dengan masalah. I remember i would spend time longger on my sejadah setiap kali nak mula tulis thesis. memang terasa lebih tenang nak menulis setiap kali semua masalah diadukan kepada yang Esa. Setiap kali i was lost, setiap kali i felt i wanted to give up, i would go to perfom my solat. i think in a way, i found myself closer to Allah semenjak i started my Master jouney. Maaf kalau ayat terlalu riak di situ. I mean this journey has also helped me to improve my realtionship with Allah S.W.T (Inshaa Allah still do my best to get closer to Him). Perjalanan yang betul-betul membuka mata i bahawa kita ni hanya hamba yang lemah sangat...terlalu lemah. dan  Mashaa Allah, betapa besar kuasa Allah S.W.T.

So, my point is,... the status i posted a few days ago is my way to show that one heavy burden has been released off my shoulder. Alhamdulillah...

nanti lahh kalau rajin sambung lagi... VIVA experience... jeng..jeng..jeng... (Inshaa Allah)

What's next?? PhD???? Only Allah knows...

ok.. have a great weekend peeps!

*updated on Monday/22.2.16