depressing stage

hi this is me 3 days ago...and i'm phat ! thank u very much~ ( hahah punya la nak avoid the word fat)

and i dun even want to expose my total look from tip to toe cos it makes me even more depressed to see the whole me~if gain another 100gram i would be completely miserable...i so want a plate of fried rice now!

and why the heck am i using this large font?? erk...

i should walk to work from now instead of driving...like the sign at the back "WALK"

baju sandingku ready for fitting & family meeting

and I'M FAT!! makkkk....sy sungguh stressed memikirkan possibilities baju tersebut won't fit~ :'( skang ni i rasa takmau makan apa2 dah..dah cukup! posa 4 hari..minum air ja dah...hukhukhuk...

i know i kinda delaying a lot of things nowadays cos of my limited time..but i cancelled my fitting twice already but to cancel it again won't be that nice kan..malu la i nak nanti. just now i recieved an alarming msg saying that IT'S FITTING TIME....aduh!! baik lah...if i dun do it this weekend ntah bila lagi pun tak tau. gosh, i pray for the baju to fit me all nicely * amin*

on another note, fiance's family is coming to discuss about wedding stuffs..and hantar duit hantaran semua...my concern is that, should i be there as well when they come? i kena balik kampung jugak kah?? if dun, would it be too snorty or something? cos seriously my relationship with future in laws are not as tight as other bride to be...no...no..no..bukan kitorang tak baik ka apa ka..it's actually a rule implimented by my family on me not to expose myself to the future family in law too much.

my family is kinda strict on adab2 bertunang and bergaul ni so i can't do anything with that but to obey..so far i have only met my FFIL 3 times..that's it tu pun "undersupervision" of my family...cewahhh...meaning...kita jupa as family! the rest kena tunggu kawen baru la nak kenal2 secara mendalam ka apa ka mak i kata ikot suka..for the time being jangan harap la i nak pi jalan2 sorang2 pi umah FFIL saja2...hmm...sabaaarrr

anyway i'm scared the dress won't fit me!! gila la...i always think negative kan?? ;(


p.s. the sweetest thing about having a loving fiance like mine is that never a single word uttered from him is about my imperfections...Alhamdulillah

p.p.s. arghhhh!! i can't wait to be married!!...and just be done with it!

redcard.com

can't believe that the wedding is approaching real fast & so many things to do nowadays...tomorrow insyaAllah, we're going to survey and most probably tempah terus kot.the thing with me & fiance is that we're both are so stuck with our works that we don't have time to actually go out and do our wedding prearation together.if ever we have the chance and TIME to do so only then we would buy all the stuffs that we need all in one day or just buy separately...it's a really tiring job macam ni and seriously sometimes i get so irritated and mula nak marah2 padahal this is the situation that we have to deal with..tak dak cara lain dah. work is so crazy and it's gonna be even more hectic this coming semester for myself...so sapa kata keja lecturer ni keja senang??? think again.. hari2 i told him i wanted to quit.. ;(

ehh?? apa la termelalut bab keja lak?

anyway, nak cita tentang wedding card...our repective families have asked us about the card and really are pusing us to quickly settle this part. i did survey a few shops( 2 shops) in penang, around my area which is in Seberang Jaya...aduh..so pathetic! i mean kesian gila i tegok designs.then it got me thinking, patut la everytime my mak recieved a wedding invitation card i could see the patern that these people seemed to do almost the same design..tiap2 bulan kad kawen sampai umah semua macam sama ja..rupanya memang people around my hometown tu tempah kat kedai yang sama ja..kedai tu pulak offers design2 yang...erkk...tak baik kutuk...my point is...we need a new shop please..sesapa nak buka kedai kad kawen dialu2kan..kesian tau orang2 kampung i.

i even had a plan tu go back to KL onece again to tempah kat sana jugak but nanti mesti orang kata i ni agung2 KL stuffs pulak...but what to do? i memang cerewek sikt..(banyak) i require more choices, that's all.

yesterday, my sis datang perlis and lepak at my house here and she flipped through magazines. majalah pengantin tu and she found some nice designs of wedding card. she suggested that i go and check them out.i never notice that redcard.com tu ada branch kat jitra.which is about 15mins drive from arau.nampak sangat la i ni tak teliti...

so tomorrow, fiance & i are going there after he completed his KURSUS KAWEN!! yes, dia baru nak kursus. BUSY kan? huuu~

harap sangat2 i will find a card that i could "agree" with.since my wedding is small wedding..we won't order up to 500 cards pun..not even 400kecik ja my wedding =)when my friends found out the number of expected guests they were like " woi, western sungguh!!" but i would kindly reply with " otak hang western...ingat banyak duit aku nak buat makan 1000 orang???" well, just to shut them up... ;p

if i could't find what i'm looking for at redcard.com mana lagi nak cari kat Alor Star ye? =)

p.s. seem like this entry is so melalut and not even about redcard.com hihi...we'll talk about it after i get the idea!

official dress maker

with 3 months and counting, perhaps it's time to talk about my nikah outfit first kot. to be honest, i was at first being worried sick thinking about whom to do my dress.i'm sure many of the b2b pun selalu dilemma mana nak hantar kan! especially brides to be outside KL...tengok KL areas b2b, kita rasa how lucky they are to be able to send their kain to professionals.

being in penang, and never knew any good dress maker was a challenge at first.. i was asking around and finally was introduced to Raymond Tan from Ray La Mode. it turned out to be this Ray guy has a branch boutique near my hometown... cari punya cari rupanya depan mata ja pun..hihi...my wedding planner talked me into sending my kain nikah to him actually. and before i made up my mind to send the kain i did talk to my friend and see his collections at the boutique...okay la i guess..and i can see that he is specialized in dressess. banyak sangat dress dia buat. my friend pun gave him a good review so i sent my kain that i bought at Jakel hari tu.

besides, many of his cutomers are malay and brides to be.when i was there nak ukur baju, i saw a lot of bags filled with kain nikah for him to sew at the back of his boutique.he said semua baju nikah yang hujung tahun punya.

we sent our kain nikah baru ja lagi...which was last month..memang nervous cos seing other b2b yang nak kawen ujung tahun ni pun baju nikah dah siap cuma nak pakai ja.but syukur, he still accepted our kain...phew!

design for nikah outfit is going to be kurung modern since my body tak sesuai kebaya..hihi..paham2 la..pinggang pun tak dak... ;p anyway, to my surprise when ray did the unofficial sketches he suggested something like this

on the left tu baju melayu my fiance, i specifically told him no sulam-sulaman for him..cos i'm not a fan..i want it to be just a plain baju melayu.

next, is a rough sketch of my nikah outfit...biasa ja kan?? =) hopefully i will be able to show the final product..heheh..nervous jugak..

now, all that left is to be patiently waiting for the dress to complete. our fitting will be in early september. Ya Allah, makbulkanlah impian hambaMu ini untuk kuruskan badan...Amin Yaa Rabbal 'Alamin....

:)

nak kahwen, hantaran dah settle kah??

hantaran~ *sigh* when it comes to creativity, i am hopeless...i can only draw a straight line perfectly (using a ruler that is) but never a perfectly round shape..that's how hopeless i am. just to give u the idea... ;(

i always wanted a beautiful decorated hantaran but i can never envision how i want it to be. i can only point to what i like and if u ask me how i would like it to be, i just dun know...all i know is i want my hantaran to be very elegant and sweet and romantic looking - sounds like a lot kan??

i'm at the stage where i have to consider the design of my hantaran...since we are not hiring any profesionals to do our hantaran, we will doi it on our own.

not only i will do the hantaran for the groom's side, but my very own hantaran pun i'll do it myself - gila kuasa kan?? heheh...from the beginning my mak seems to oppose this idea as she is afraid we might cause some unwanted "cakap-cakap belakang" she said takot nanti apa pandangan orang sebab segalanya pihak my family yang buat..but i did explain to her that i have no choice.

okay the designs?? NO IDEA...i just hope my sister can take this responsibility and will come out with something..cos seriously, i cannot sit and discuss this part cos my mind is totally blank...if i see the samples of hantaran, insyaAllah i can say which one is beutiful which one is not. i pray really hard that this issue will resolve soon, so i can be at peace. cos rite now, i'm a little nervous - no, i am turning into a nervous wreck

since we're doing the hantaran for the both side, all i know i they MUST LOOK DIFFERENT. i'm afraid the designs of my hantaran will look the same with groom's hantaran... =(

at first i was so damn sure of having fresh flower hantaran since it's the in thing nowadays kan...but i'm no expert...my sis cakap the flower arrangements has to be done last minute if it's fresh...my concern is that my nikah insyaAllah will be held in the morning...around 10 am. sempat ka if they arrange it that morning itself?? i mean can't it be done the night before??? sesiapa ada pandangan bolehlah dilontarkan di comment section. hehe TQ

okay, last week balik penang ada jelajah SSF. it's 5 minutes away from my house ja...i like going there sbb bila masuk ja..uhhh syok~ kan? sampai kat top floor bahagian bridal tu, ada la tengok2 contoh hantaran and we asked about the price of their workmanship if they do hantaran...erkk..mahal..

masa snap tis pic my nephew cakap ehh tak boleh amik gambar...tengok2 ada sign camera not allowed..tapi muka SA tu cam selamber ja..so i snap a few more...hehe

i love bling2 that SSF offers..sbb designs bling2 dia lawa2 compared to other shops...namapak mewah...i checked out a few shops yang jual bling2 gedik2 tu..tapi semua fail to meet my demand..cewah..hihih..kat SSF jugak yg lawa...but mahal la..1 pack RM128 ++ jenuh jugak tu..kalau nak pakai more than 1 pack...

to make matters a bit difficult, my area tak banyak kedai barang2 hantaran..ada 3 kedai ja..tapi erkk...

maybe i have to follow my sis sugestion to go back to ipoh again..sana memang belambak...possibbly way cheaper

jalan2 pusing ipoh~

jalan-jalan ke ipoh ni actually was last month. i was there for 2 days only, so my "schedule" (ewah..macam bz sgt2 lak) was jam packed la skit. we had the whole day to go around ipoh and survey as well as buy some stuffs for the wedding. beli sikit2 ja la cos initially my plan was only to survey wedding stuffs since my sis insisted. she had been bugging me to go there and visit her a long time ago but this time around she managed to coax me jugak..heheh..


my trip was a success i guess since i have found a few things that i would want to buy the next time i go, insyaAllah...my sis ni memang kaki jalan and she is the expert of shopping for serious stuffs and she would know what shops offer good quality things and what shops are on sales, etc...i mean many of the shops we went the sales assistants ramai kenal dia..it's like her friends semuanya. maybe bcos she's so friendly - unlike me...hehehe. so agak mudah la to get a good bargain for instance, we went to the place called lorong carpet where almost semua carpet vendors sepanjang jalan tu kenal my sis n her husband! lawak pulak...and u bet they offered us a really great price compared to what i surveyed in penang..almost 50% cheaper...crazy! so i guess bulan ni punya gaji is to buy the carpet! ;p

during my first trip ni tak banyak yg i bought cos it was unplanned so i didn't fork out a lot la.. a few stuffs that caught my eyes - and i ended buying biasa2 ja la.



paper bag ni is my favourite item amongst all kot. ;) it's so girlish and so elegant looking in my opinion...it's a shape of a handbag.for me sesuai if i give this to my female friends later..ok kot? ;) my other sister told me back in her time during her wedding she saw this paper bag kat SSF selling at RM9 per piece, gila mahal..but 8 years later i bought this at only RM1.50 per piece.. ;p but too bad cuma ada 24 pieces in stock...boleh laa dah bekenan sgt.

transparent container ni last minute shopping..dah nak balik penang pun time tu tp my sis ajak jugak masuk 1 lagi kedai barang2 kawin..and i found it. beli sikit ja 100++ pieces ja. and sold at 40 cents kot sebijik..tak ingat..still worth it ;)

bunga telur sponsored by my sis...syukur Alhamdulillah ;) she said saja tambah2 kalau other doorgift terkurang ka.

bunga-bungaan...punya payah nak jumpa the kind of pink i like but finally...found it..still the pic doesn't do the justice...kat luar lagi lawa..ehehe

well, like i said i didn't spend a lot cos it was unplanned trip...i'm the type of person who is very careful with money...lagi2 waktu2 kritikal seperti sekarang ni. a lot of money to be spent on wedding stuffs...sesak nafas kadang2...but i am happy and syukur dengan apa yg termampu...though sometimes, i kinda hope somebody would step up and say " dun worry i will pay for everything!" hahaha....dream on~

p.s. these stuffs are for the nikah day. reception i takmau fikir2 dah cos i leave it to the expert... *tawakal*

sudah kembali!

fuhhh! it's been quite a while since the last entry...remember i did mention i was all stressed out with works and stuffs... i didn't realise i was so stressed until i felt the left side of my head was feeling a little uncomfortable...almost migrain...( heheh almost..tapi belum lagi kot) and i guess my hormones are unstable too...bulan ni my period jadi pelik2..i freaked out jugak la...tapi takot nak jumpa doktor...maybe i'm stressed.

so after the audit ended i took a week leave and headed back to home sweet home, penang =) just to recharge myself la kan..bukan pi jalan2 pun. i spent my days tidur puas2, makan puas2 and did nothing.today i masuk office ramai lagi yg belum balik dari cuti..heheh..this is the only time for us to take leave as the students are on their semester break.

again, seeing the ticker up there making me more nervous...i'm getting married in 3 months ++..hukkkk~ tak tau nak describe my feelings...before i was so excited and nowadays, all the excitements seem to turn into nervousness dah..i mean bad nervous...i'm beginning to feel scared...seriously...entah apa yg i takot i puntak pasti.i keep thinking negatively when i should be all positive...*sigh*

but, syukur i have a very loving and understanding fiance who would put up with all my craps all these while.he's been nothing but positive all the way!i guess men are better at dealing with stress kot??

well, as for my wedding preps. i think i have a lot entry tertangguh yg i should be posting long ago, but with all the BZness i had to to put everthing on hold. so today i will start with my door gift during my nikah day since the idea is still freshly discussed. ;p well, i have decided all the items for goodie bags for orang2 masjid so no problem with that..as for the guests my sister came up with the idea Faux Cupcakes. well, since she is the die hard fan of the english desings and she owns an online business selling english designs stuffs, i decided to follow her suggestion. hopefully we'll be able to cut cost jugak..heheh

those who are not sure what is a faux cupcakes here it is

pic taken from http://daniascottage.blogspot.com

these are few examples made by her. cute huh? so what we plan is to arrage them on the guest tables for them to take home after meal as a token of appreciation for attending the majlis. ;) insyaAllah, at the very early wedding preps,i have decided to have a small but special nikah day.

i mean we plan to make it different a little from what the crowd in my kampung have seen.bukan la lain dari yg lain sangat ok..just a little diffrent.my intention is to only have goodie bags and bunga telur during the nikah day sahaja..sebab at my kampung goodie bags ni selalu hari reception..since my budget is not a big one so memadai goodie bag sekadar untuk tetamu hari nikah...as for the reception which is also small reception jugak, no goodie bag.so kawan2, jangan lak hangpa heran tak dapat bag apa2 masa mai kenduri kawen cek na.. ;p

ohh, those who are interested with the idea of having a lot of english stuffs around the house or serviniour for wedding day boleh jugak oder from the website...heheh..

jodoh mereka terhenti di situ

things happened when we least expected...one of my closest officemates just lost her husband yesterday...after the husband loss his battle to cancer.both of them used to be my neighbour and we hung out together after work quite frquently and just recently had a baby...how terribly sad is that. ;( it breaks my heart thinking about them ( my friend & baby ) it happened so quickly and we never expected he would go this soon as the cancer was not even at first stage yet..but Allah is Great..He knows best and maybe their jodoh was meant to be brief...

i remember we talked about my wedding and her husband said " norr nak kawen dah no...tak lama lagi kita pi penang pulak makan nasik minyak" and he specificly asked the location of my reception that will take place...but, tu lah...tak kesampaian..

ini lah yang dikatakan jodoh, rezeki, ajal dan maut semuanya kententuan Ilahi. from HIM we come & to HIM we go back..still i'm in my disbelieve...and keep thinking how is she going to go on after this cos if i were her, i don't think i could be so strong...i talked with my mak last nite and mak said she'll be okay as she is young and Allah knows best and He tested the ones who could bare...betul la tu..apa pun many of us in the office are very sad...

semoga u terus kuat nad~

Al- Fatihah...


p/s : we'll talk wedding soon after all the works are done okay bloggers! =)