at 1 month 1 week & 1 day

all i could say everytime i look at the ticker is - come on!! hurry up~ i can't wait any longer... ;p hehe...

i'm officially done with my preparation, insyaAllah. though if i think logically, a lot of things that other brides 2 be should have on their big day, i don't have...still, i keep myself calm and leave it to the above power - redha. =)

there are times i feel very depressed to see the amount of my bank account but a lot of time i feel so blessed that Allah never let me feel as if i'm completely broke. Alhamdulillah...

i know many of the b2b go through the same situation, the same experience that i do. that part makes me feels that i'm not the only person who is tested by Allah. i can't be hypocrete to say that i'm not envy at those who have been blessed with beautiful wedding or at those who are currently manage to prepare for their wedding very well. as compared to myself a lot of things i put into my so called wedding ckecklist have been pull out since the first day i planned for the day.and all i could do is to get mad at the world because i have the feelings that everything is against me. again, never ever let that thoughts lingers too long or it will ruin my morale. =)

and yes, people can easily missintrepreted me by saying i'm beig fussy & not thankful of what i have. well, honestly i don't have a lot of things that a wedding should have. people never notice that. and all they keep saying " janji selamat nikah sudah la" yes, i know that very well to the extend i believe my wedding is going to be very simple - simple is not that bad. so i adopt the idea. =)

at 1 month 1 week & 1 day before i could finally feel complete with everything, i'm not gonna lie that i'm currently feeling so worried if things turn out into disaster during the day. i'm so freaking afraid! i plan the whole thing on my own with occasional helps from my fiance. i can't rely on my family much because i completely understand thier situations and the last thing i want to do is put any burden on them. i just want everybody to be happy and not feel like they have the responsibility towards me. i'm glad, i do recieve some helps from a few people whom i consider angles. i'm happy to include as many people as i could in my preparation.

1 more month, and my life is about to change! i'm so excited! i love the process of my wedding. it's like being on a rollercoster, on top of a mountain and sink deep into the sea all at the same time! YAHOO I'M GETTING MARRIED!