back to the reality - again!

i'm finally back to work after almost 3 weeks on MC + break. Alhamdulillah, i'm feeling healthy and like my old self all over again. ;) coming back to work was the least favourite thing after a long break i guess, i expected things at the office and my classes will be all over the place and in a big mess/chaos/uncontrolled. but to my surprise, actually everything is ok and in order. i don't have to do any replacement with my classes since i was on leave, we have 2 new lecturers who took over my classes. syukur, kalau tak, lebih dari 20 jam nak buat kelas ganti...PENGSAN!

i think i had a good rest in penang since i have gained back all the weight that i've lost during my pregnancy. now, i look chubby..i mean, fat! hahah..hubs even made a silly comment that i looked like "cikgu ragby" hampeh betul...fine, i'm fat! i need to slim down soon. i wish it would be as simple as i said it...huwaaaaa! ;( mampu kahhh??

ohh, entering my office last monday wasn't that simple too, i got a lot of " norr, so sorry of what happenned...hope to hear another good news soon ya! cuba lagi..." from almost everybody.

ALAMAK!

well, let's hope that the "soon" is not next month ok! heheh...i'm still recovering and still gaining back the strenght to actually persuade myself into thinking positively. i must say that after the miscarriage, i'm feeling very afraid. i'm afraid that the next pregnancy, the same thing will reoccure and i would have to go through the same grief which i really cannot handle.

nowadays, my tummy feels so empty. kinda miss the feeling of knowing that i was carrying the bundle of joy inside. :) that time, perut rasa cekang ja..very uncomfortable, strangely, i miss that!

should i try soon?? well, i hope that one fine day, i would wake up and i'm actually pregnant again and keep my finggers crossed that the next time, things will be better, baby will be as strong as badang (huyoo badang tu!) ;) and i could go though it successfully like any normal woman. amin.

hell yeah, i wish i could be pregnant as soon as tomorrow..hahaha..but, maybe the appropriate thing to do is to give it some time...let the uterus heal gorgeously first! ;p hopefully, Allah will help me again the second time. Amin...

“Wahai Tuhanku! Kurniakanlah kepadaku dari sisi-Mu zuriat keturunan yang baik. Sesungguhnya Engkau sentiasa Mendengar (menerima) doa.” ayat 38, surah Ali-Imran