100 days to go!

I’m approximately 100 days to go before I start to PUSH this baby out! HOOOOO MY GOODNESS!!

I am scared to think of all the possibilities. No doubt about it, a very paranoid person like me can’t seem to think positively most of the time. I have started having dreams about going through labour which was a real nightmare. Then I also dreamt about my baby. The pathetic part was I dreamt about how careless I was taking care of the baby. The baby fell down, the baby hit the table and the baby would cry when I was handling. Adoi…Nampak sangat la semua kerisauan ni masuk dlm mimpi. Hopefully they won’t be a reality.

I am a person with zero experience when it comes to handling a child and stuff cos I’m the youngest in my family. My mak would do everything for me and my siblings. So, I guess for the first 30 days upon the baby arrival I would let my mak do everything and I would just observe and learn everything as much as I could before handling everything about the baby’s need on my own. I can’t imagine how it would be. I totally believe that when the time comes, things will also comes naturally for me, HOPEFULLY!

As for the mental preparation so far… I guess I try to not think too much about all my worries. I really don’t need to stress myself. My biggest worry is of course going through labour. What if I can’t stand the pain? What if I die??? But I always try to overcome these fears by asking a lot of help from Allah, to help me when the time comes. And insyaAllah, Allah will always help those in need kan?

I also find myself in tears when I read people’s experience of giving birth. I find all birthing stories very touching laa… and I admire those who manage to go through it successfully despite all the circumstances.

At this point, I really enjoy doing the shopping for baby. LOVE IT! (As if I’m doing the shopping for myself pulak…)hopefully next week we will complete all the major items for baby. Such as clothings, stroller, baby carseat, etc. we have ordered the playpen from Bumble Bee yesterday and I love, love,love it to the max~ they have too many cute designs I couldn’t make up my mind at first. I can’t wait for this Saturday to come, cos we’re going shopping for more. hubs doesn’t want to wait until I hit 7 or 8 months to complete our list of items to buy, cos obviously I think I’m going to be more tired or lazy to be walking up and down the shopping malls.

My doa is always about the baby. I hope everything will be ok, I will be ok. And I hope everybody will pray for me too ya! I’m scared…