#life as of now

Blog ni dah boleh masuk kategori blog hidup segan mati tak mahu... tuan tanah jenis tak update2. kalau update pun bagai melepas batuk di tangga gituw... huuhuu...

alasan busy memanjang. *eyes rolling*

well, i suddenly realized how much i missed blogging... every time i have something to write it is either it was already late at night or it was no more fun to update an outdated story. hahaha...

my life as of now, well let me start with myself first, aside from busy with work and tired of it, my postgraduate studies has also progressing well. i must say that the decision to go back and start my Master was the best decision ever. i enjoy my classes. i enjoy doing my assignments and everything that revolves around my studies. so very much. lillahi ta'alaa... in fact i would be very excited to talk about my studies every time i get people asking how is it going so far. Alhamdulillah... it makes me the happiest girl when talking about it. i am right now in my 2nd yr, which considered as the final year. my research is going to start soon. and i am nervous about it as well. but i guess, this is a good kind of nervous. heheh...

in the 1st class for  new semester last week. ;) heheh...

2 more papers to go and i'm done by next semester with all the classes, Inshaa Allah.

i will most probably extend my study for 1 semester because i will be focussing on my research without the interfering with classes at uni. i must confess that i am not much of a multi tasker. i do things slow and bits by bits most of the time. and i'm pretty happy with my way of doing things. the best thing about going back to uni is that i feel fresher. i feel content.. i feel alive kot mostly... imagine being in teaching line for almost 7 yrs, terasa sungguh letih. tired of the job.. hate the boss... hate the attitude of some co-workers, etc..etc.. i was afraid i would be burnt out before i hit 10 yrs of teaching experience. i'm only 31 yrs old... i have long way to go in this business, if Allah will. so i don't want to be upset with my job. 

The only way to rejuvenate myself i think, i need to back and study. i need to upgrade myself professionally. forget about naik pangkat dalam sistem politeknik yang sunggh merapu... i hate it. in fact i have heard so many cases of polytechnic lecturers blah and join other institution after they get their Master and Ph.D because of the frustrations. and i don't understand why some people still terhegeh-hegeh nak jadi pensyarah poli?? seriously, tak paham.As for me, i also have my own mission after finishing my studies too. Inshaa Allah.

Anyways, my point is, going back to study is the best thing ever. i truly enjoy. Alhamdulillah. i find new great friends, locals and internationals too. things have been fun so far. and when u truly enjoy something then only u can deliver well and perform well too. i can feel that this is happening to me. Syukur.. my semester results have been good. i get A and A- only. this kind of thing motivates me more. ;)

as for family, i try my level best to spend lots of time with my baby. i am not gonna say that everything has been perfect. no, sometimes when u are tired all u need is just rest and sleep and the guilty feelings about not having longer time with your baby is always there. but, i will try to make up the loss. we try to bring Maryam to her favorite places. bawak pegi main, pegi playground, etc. 

yesterday we were back on horse stable. her favorite place ever kot.

sayang pony... dia kata masa ni.

 ever since she was 1 yr ++ we have exposed her with horseback riding. but not  joining any classes like that, tak mampu la i suami isteri.. huhu.. but more on  spend time with horses only. she loves it. she likes cats, rabbit and horses. but i can see that she is much more natural with horses. yesterday we went to a stables in Balik Pulau, Penang. the ususal place, and boleh dikatakan the owner pun happy having Maryam there too. they would snap pictures of her with their horses. and they were amazed to see how natural Maryam was everytime she approaced horses or rode them. tak payah ajar, she basically aquire the skill on her own i guess. the best moment when she actually played peek-a-boo with the pony. Masha Allah, cute sungguh. she would stroke the pony so gently, hugged and even kissed the pony. kita yang tengok ni pulak seriau.

muka paling tak boleh sabaq... kept telling she wanted to be on the horse for hundreds of time. letih menjawab!

she's gonna turn 3 yrs pretty soon. in november to be exact. how time flies kan... yes, we do want more children but let me finish my study first and see how it goes. ada rezeki, ada lah kan... Maryam pun dah semakin membesar and semakin memahami that she is alone. kesian jugak tak ada adik. heheh... 

ok, that's all...

ohh husband. still the same husband. hahahha...

biasa lah... dah kawen almost 4 yrs ni, semakin banyak kita cuba memahami pasangan. he's been helpful. alot helpful these days. hahaha... i think i have to let go certain things too... biar husband yang buat jugak. especially berkaitan Maryam. dulu masa awal2 sem i sambung belajar, i would station Maryam at my mak's place, tapi nowadays, i trust him.. lantak lah dua beranak ni nak bedal ice cream and coklat banyak mana pun sepanjang i tak dak umah, dan rumah in one big mess pun.. i'm fine with it.janji hepi.

ok, till i write again.