Tuesday, January 25, 2011

where the heck have i been???


Salam...
not sure whether i have people visiting this blog anymore or not...i have been very very quite since the last entry. well, as the matter of fact, i didn't even check my blog at all. BUSY?? nehhh...
life has been tremendoulsly great and full of blessing since we have been married. syukur Alhamdululillah...i coulnd't be more happier. ;)

a lot had been saying, when a person gets married, the rezeki from Allah will be opened as wide as the sky...and it was and is very true indeed. mr. hubster and i could feel the rahmat Allah since we tied the knot! ;) life has been very very peaceful and with the amount of rezeki that granted, we couldn't thank the Power above more..

well, the biggest rezeki of all - last november, i recieved a very happy news after a visit to a clinic... that i was 5 weeks pregnant. well, after a month of getting married, maybe this was what expected laa kan? heheh..

i was shocked & didn't expect that at all...cos i was having light spotting on the day i was supposed to get my period. the long awaited period never came but only light spotting for almost 12 days and i was nausious all the time after i ate. a short trip to a clinic confirmed the pregnancy.

bad news, because i was having spottings the doctor couldn't promise that thepregnancy would survive as she wanted to "clean" my womb. at that moment, i was so damn worried. the very next day, mr.bubster took me to the specialist. and he scanned my tummy and gave me a very positive advice from medical perspective. he said the baby sack looked great and everything was perfect and nothing to be worried about just that i should limit my movements and be very cautious all the time and i had to come for regular check up weekly cos they wanted to monitor the pregnancy. i was so damn relieved. that was the first ultrasound and for the first time the hubster and i were very happy to recieve the best news, ever - the bundle of joy is on its way! ;)

so as the week progressed, i was not feeling so well. i puked all the time. you name it - in the kitchen, in the car, in the office, in the lab & class while i was finishing my lecture. even in a plate while i was eating. without any warning signs. i was really week and there were times i couldn't get up and sleeping were the only medicine to cure the sickness.

poor hubster, he had to take over the job of a housewife. he did all the chores around the house and took great care of me.

the puch card at the office was always blank and i had to explain myself why i was always on leave or MC.

the friends from the office were stating to avoid me. i also isolated myself from the crowd because i didn't feel like talking much. i could feel a very negative energy around me as if they thought i was being lazy, and because i got pregnant, i didn't come to work. what the #*@* - i was so sad. serioulsly, a friend whom i consider a good friend was not so nice to me. i never judged her despite the fact she stabbed me from the back. i forgave her. i could feel a sense of jealosy from her. but never mind~

so as i entered the 8 weeks of my pregnancy i had to undergo the check up procedure like a normal mom-to-be. things were looking great from 2 doctors i visited. just to get 2nd opinions of my spotting condition. both said it would stop when i entered my 12 weeks of pregnancy. the ligt spotting finally stopped at 9 weeks. but the morning sickness were getting worst every day. i couldn't eat. i lost 3 kg in a week. people started to notice that i was losing weight fast. i felt offended a bit. i remembered when i was excited if people said i look slimmer. but it was before i got married. but when i was pregnant, that was the last thing i wanted to hear, i guess. ;p

as i entered my 10 weeks, i was ok a bit. i could eat. and all i did was eating to gain back my weight. for the whole of the week i was eating and eating. ... finally~

but last tuesday, i woke up to have my shower, i notice the spotting was back and it was almost black in color but i didn't feel any pain. i freaked out a bit.

at noon, the hubster came home to take me to our OBGYN, and he scanned my tummy and i was so worried i even closed my eyes. i didn't want to see it. then he calmly said that the baby is gone. and i was misscarried at 11 weeks almost approahing 12 weeks in a few more days..

i was numbed. i couldn't think straight and mr. hubster did all the talking and the decision of what most appropriate. which was to undergo the D&C procedure.

we checked ourseleves in at Putra Medical Center at 3 pm and i was brought to the labor room. the next thing i knew, everything was done. i woke up at almost 10 pm.. i was having a bit of complication at first as my womb was tightly closed. the doctor had to insert some sort of medication to soften the womb and 2 hours later i was in so much pain. it was horrible feelings and mr. hubster was there the whole time comforting me. after maghrib the doctor came to finish the business. i passed out during the procedure. Alhamdulillah, everything is okay now.

i'm in my home sweet home penang now - resting and recovering. i will start teaching again after CNY. i accept my loss and redha with what Allah has determined to me. i feel so bless of having a great family and a few great friends whom i love and treasure. and the best husband ever! this experience has been the biggest so far and i hope the rahmat Allah will come our way again. amin..

as for now, i just want to focus on being a good wife to him as i never got the chance to ever since i got pregnant. so now, it's time to give the hubster more attention and love like he always deserves!~

life's great! Alhamdulillah...

12 comments:

anak_sateria said...

Takziah dear... xpe, insyaAllah nnti2 adala rezeki lg....mesti ada hikmah disebaliknya...Bykkn sabar ye...

PurPLe LaDy AiFA said...

be strong norr. insya allah ade hikmah di sebaliknye. nnti2 ade la lagi rezeki tu. sabar k.

NoRr said...

Dearest anak sateria & aifa: TQ so much for the well wishes. i'm doin alrite now, Alhamdulillah..and very happy to be back on blogging world and found u ladies still reading my page...eheheh...TQ

nizabeba said...

Sorry to hear that dear.. be strong k..insyaAllah ade rezeki nnt..u take care!

NoRr said...

niza,thanx a lot ya..i appreciate that. u take care too ;)

A W E E N N Y E said...

rest baik2..hope u cepat pulih dari segi emosi dan fizikal..i will be there for u..just leave a msg when u need me =))

NoRr said...

aween, i know u'll always be there for me n i'll definitely be there for u always ;)appreciate all ur comforting words babe!TQ taw~ syg aween.

ElyaElmo said...

dear....
sedey bile baca..tapi takpe...insyaAllah rezeki tu ade nanti...usaha lagi k:)

NoRr said...

TQ elya...im ok n redha. yeahhh! better luck next time kan? aminnn. maceh elya!

Asz Miza said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Asz Miza said...

Kak..sy bru miscarriage at 11 weeks 10 days ago..nk tnya mcm mana akak cope with m/c? Berapa lama akak conceive balik after that miscarriage? Doc said after 3 months...btol ke?

NoRr said...

Asz Miza: soooo sorry baru je realised ada komen terbaru di sini...well, first of all, u be strong ye! Always remember itu bukan rezeki u.baby tak nak stay because kalau dia stay pun maybe tak baik untuk dia & u jugak. so redha banyak ok. insyaAllah, dengan doa dan usaha, Allah akan ganti semula kehilanagn kita tu. well, when should u get pregnant again? ikotkan sebaik2nya orang kata wait at least 6 months, tapi i got pregnant again after 2 months of miscarriage. for me, kita tengok dulu keadaan kesihatan kita cemana, kalau kita rasa kita sihat and ok and mostly memang ready nak lalui semula proses mengandung tu, i think 3 months as advised by doctor is a perfect timing, insyaAllah. :)