THE LITTLE STARS ON STAGE

 Assalamualaikum... seperti biasa lama ku tinggal blog ini... nak update asyik2 tak cukup mood...hahahh boleh? mood tak berapa cecah tahap sepatutnya gitu.

I really need to update this sebab rasa macam in future this post will be significant to me very much. it's about Maryam's school play... finally selesai..anak-anak Khalifah Intelek membuat persembahan tahun ni, 2015. Alhamdulillah... i think the school did a great job. Mashaa Allah... May Allah bless all the teachers for their efforts to train these little children. Sebak tengok anak sendiri berani berdiri di hadapan punya ramai manusia dok menonton depa buat persembahan di Mydin last week (15/8/2015). Mak pun belom tentu berani nak...... hahahhahaa.... 

Maryam The Pink Flower. suka hati je mommy letak nama samaran.

                             

Event ni dorang buat waktu petang, so kebarangkalian anak-anak kecik ni cranky agak tinggi sebab nya waktu between 2pm to 4pm ni waktu nap budak Maryam. huiii... nebes mak..sebab on our way to the place, Maryam dah cakap dia mengantok! adoi.... bila sampai ja Mydin dah mula la sikit drama swasta dia... teachers dah mai jemput masuk bilik salin baju dia boleh tak mau ikot.... mak dia ni dah la stok mak tiri...nyaris2 jugak la nak hangin..tapi ku tahan jugak... last2 teacher dia sorang lagi mai ambik baru ok..tu pun dia dah meleleh ayaq mata dah pun. biasalah budak kalau mengantok macam2 lah perangai kan...nak2 pulak Maryam pagi sabtu tu dia bangun awal... 7 pagi dah bangun.. so by 2pm dia memang lalok nak lena... kesian sungguh.... kita yang mak2 ni punya laa risau dia buat hal tak nak naik pentas ka apa ka..tapi lepas dah siap semua nampak teachers bawak dia and kawan2 tunggu kat tepi pentas...pheww...lega mak! 

all i could say is that, i am soooo  proud of each and every child there... semua anak2 yang hebat. Alhamdulillah... berani, confident, happy, selamber people... i wish i could be like them too... kadang2 kita perlu ambik 1 step back and observe the whole thing, betapa anak2 kita ni sebenarnya ada banyak contoh2 yang positif dalam diri depa untuk panduan kehidupan kita...

Maryam did well, in fact tak ada 1 benda pun yang i feel disappointed with her so far sejak dia start schooling ni. i think i owe a lot to the teachers. Hanya Allah mampu membalas semua jasa mereka.

ok lah jom tgk gambaq sikit!

Maryam is at the center!! picture: kredit to Khalifah Intelek Page on FB

Picture: Kredit to Khalifah Intelek Page on FB

ok, itu ja nak kongsi kegembiraan... hihi...

*sigh* besaq dah anak i uols...bila nak dapat adik? kahhhh~

Schooling so far

Hari ni first day Maryam balik tunjuk hasil art works dia kat sekolah. Actually dah nampak pun cikgu dia gantung semua hasil kerja students kat luar dan dalam sekolah. as a mother, of course la i mencari-cari hasil air tangan anak sendiri kan... the first art work yang dia buat previously dia cuma buat half way sebabnya cikgu kata dia ternmapak kereta i balik rumah. ni padahnya bila sekolah dengan rumah dekat sangat bertentangan gitu... nampak saja mata budak tu. so dia ingat dia mak dia ni dah datang untuk ambik dia, kebetulan all the kids were doing their art outside the classroom. Hmm... masa i dapat tau dia hanya buat half way i felt inside my heart "why laaa..why laa.... budak lain buat habis, why la anak i tak siapkan?" hahhh!! gila punya mak kan?? then i snapped out of it.... just hugged my child tightly and said "it's ok..next time Maryam siapkan ok?" she angguk.. and i felt so damn bad tau... apa punya mak laa i ni...

then there was today... another art work day! when i arrived to fetch her, the first thing she said to me was "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy....." sambil tangan dok tunjuk kat lantai benda apa dia buat. ohh.... kali ni mata i melilau lagi cari yang mana satu Maryam buat... hahahah... very happy to see her finished her work completely this time. Alhamdulillah... and i praised her all the way depan cikgu dia masa tu sampai la masuk kereta dan sampai rumah... kenyang agaknya budak tu kena puji. i have always believed in the power of PRAISING. i do it almost everyday. sebab i think it increses the child positive attitude. contoh pagi2 buta subuh tu dia bangun bukak mata i would always say to her "baiknya hati Maryam tak susahkan Mommy untuk kejutkan Maryam", "Bijaknya Maryam Mandi pagi" "Cantiknya Maryam pakai baju sekolah ni" memang constantly buat. Sebelum dia sekolah pun i have always praised her for every effort she showed. i could see that this thing managed to increase her confidence level. she could order her own food at KFC drive through tau.. walaupun dia cakap bunyi pelat tu tak hilang lagi, still the confidence level tu yang kita nak. and every time we eat outside, i would give her the money to go and pay at the counter while i watch her from the table, memang i suka tengok how merapu she speaks at the counter pun, i think dia ada self confident yang baik. Alhamdulillah.... 

ok lah, i dah jauh menyimpang dari post yang i nak cerita ni... i think lepas ni i need to get a nice box to keep all the things that she brings back from school. i said to her tadi dalaM keta, nanti Maryam dah besar boleh tengok semua ni balik... hehehe... 

jumaat kena pakai baju sukan. beg tu beg sekolah bagi tu. semua budak galas beg yang sama. klasik sangat beg tu.hahaha

progress at school setelah sebulan bersekolah  ni i rasa she is doing fine just like other normal kids do. belum ponteng lagi so far. i love the fact that the teachers could spare me some time when i fetch her just to  speak about Maryam's day at school. i would ask them about her day ja. not many questions pun. cikgu-cikgu pun tak lokek nak menjawab and akan cuba bersembang dengan kita sebaik mungkin. my only concern is, budak Maryam ni tak nak makan kat sekolah langsung. tu lah bahana bila anak jenis fussy bab makan. sebenarnya orang kalau tengok Maryam orang ingat dia jenis no hal bab makan, tolak batu and kayu ja, but actually not so. Maryam ada certain foods yang dia suka dan avoid completely walaupun dia pemakan sayur, pemakan buah-buahan but dia jenis memilih jugak ok. so kat sekolah mana ada orang serve carbonara,fish soup,chicken rice,vegetable soup semua  benda..

mostly breakfast depa are bihun goreng, nasik goreng, mee goreng, kuih-kuih... memang tak la anak i nak makan. so what i do is, i give her bakal... selalunya sandwiches or roti colat camtu lah... still budak ni ada mood dia jugak. kadang habis dia makan. kadang lansung  tak makan langsung. yang mak dia ni mati akal dah nak bagi bekal apa pagi2... mana larat weh nak masak...huhu.... 

so, setiap kali balik sekolah budak ni memang buat macam kebuluran. mintak nasik, mintak itu, mintak ini nak makan... haihhh... yang tak tahan tu tiap kali balik sekolah kena singgah petro station nak beli something for her to kunyah2... kalau tak stop paham2 lah... meleleh laa ayaq mata tu. i noticed last night that she is losing some weight.. risau pulak mak....nampak anak macam kurus sikit. hukhuk... kat sekolah dia ni antara budak paling aktif cikgu kata. i paham sangat "aktif" tu merujuk kepada pergerakkan fizikal la tu... hahaha.. i rasa dia konpen dah dok main sakan kat sekolah. lari sana lari sini... hahahha... 

apa pun, i think we did make the right choice to send her to school. tak ada lagi kes yang tawar hati or dramas so far... just plain happy. Alhamdulillah... i doakan semoga Allah akan protect anak-anak kita semua di mana pun depa berada. Ameen.

ok bai.

hari tu rambut ni dah potong. bak kata my friend rambut sekarang rambut fesyen tembikai. hahaha...

experience with international friends so far.

ehh, apahal rajin semacam pulak type blog selang sehari nihh? hehehe... i'm waiting for my students to come to my office at this moment.. bosan pulak mengadap kerja yang tak habis2.. stop lah sat kan.

today i will share the experience i have with my international friends who have now becoming very good friends already. in fact, we had arranged some private makan2 during last hari raya just us and the kids. well, i must say that i have learn a lot of things by having 2 good friends who are from Jordan and Iraq respectively. occasionally we had palestinian students in our classes who i actually made friends too. but the two ladies who are now become close to me are just wonderful people sent by Allah. ;) and pretty soon these two friends are going back to their country or to another country to start their work. most probably last raya was the first and last makan2 gathering that we had ever done because they are going back home by next Ramadhan, Inshaa Allah.

previously i have heard stories how arab women won't be involved in any social gathering with the presence of men. but, my interpretation was that, well, maybe only in the arab country that these people will practice it. but, to my surprise, even though they are thousands away from their motherland, they do keep their culture and belief in tact. at lest with these 2 best friends i have now. i had the oportunity to join the makan2 events at their homes where they would send their husbands out ( bukan halau la..hahaaa) for a few hours and we would be in their house having fun, makan2 and chit chatting. 

the hospitality, Mashaa Allah... so nice... the foods and everything was fabulous. i got to taste some authentic arab foods which not known to many. and the best part lepas tu boleh tapau. hahahha... minah2 arab ni tak makan pedas, tapi herannya, cili depa lagi pedas gila kot dr cili kita. berasap telinga skali kena.hahaha... but it was fantastic though. truly enjoyed the experience. i secretly wish they would extend their studies so we get to do the mak2 and anak2 gatherings more...hahahha... memang tak lah kan.. orang nak balik negara masing2 dah pon...

yang baby tu lahir kat Penang, mak dia Jordanian, yang dah besar2 tu mak dia dari Iraq. yang budak mata tak tengok kamera tu mak dia orang Malaysia. hahahaha...

contrary to what many people said that arabs are arrogant etc, etc, i find my two friends are very humble and down to earth people. very helpful, very generous and very religious people. i mean i do have concerns regarding certain things related to being a muslim and they would always have good answer for me. Mashaa Allah, how they preserve Islam so dearly in their lives. not even an inch would they tolarate to anything that not put Islam first. malu i dengan cara pakaian i yang masih kurang sempurna ni walaupun berhijab. as compared to them, they are fashionable too. but they only be fashionable in front of their husband at home. they wear branded clothes too, but only at home. nampak tahap tawaduk depa ni lain dari kita. kita ni kalau pakaian branded inagt nak ka pakai kat rumah sambil memasak?? *pengsan*

they are truly sexy in their home. seriously wey... baju ketat, sluar ketat, rambut mayang megurai..make up etc.. complete! but they are very modest outside their houses.in fact, pintu pagar apartment depa pon depa cover dengan kain curtain so that anytime ada ousider ketuk pintu at least tak nampak lah aurat. they are covered and look normal without any make up on ouside their homes. berapa ramai antara kita mampu camtu, i always wonder. a lot of times, they would try to tell me that i need to improve my dressing. we should impress Allah first and not people. well, very true. harap2 boleh lah i improve seperti yang depa bagitau dulu. and they even checked me on my reading of the holy Quran. they would offer help. Subhanallah... sangat terasa that they are sent by Allah to me. to help me actually. ;)

selain tu, and a lot tips i got from these two sisters on how to take care of my hair so it would shine bright just like theirs. .hahahha... i kalau tanya tahap i siasat habis ok. huhu..segala tip kecantikan i tanya.

ok lah.. tu ja teringat nak update. hihi... ;))
 

#life as of now

Blog ni dah boleh masuk kategori blog hidup segan mati tak mahu... tuan tanah jenis tak update2. kalau update pun bagai melepas batuk di tangga gituw... huuhuu...

alasan busy memanjang. *eyes rolling*

well, i suddenly realized how much i missed blogging... every time i have something to write it is either it was already late at night or it was no more fun to update an outdated story. hahaha...

my life as of now, well let me start with myself first, aside from busy with work and tired of it, my postgraduate studies has also progressing well. i must say that the decision to go back and start my Master was the best decision ever. i enjoy my classes. i enjoy doing my assignments and everything that revolves around my studies. so very much. lillahi ta'alaa... in fact i would be very excited to talk about my studies every time i get people asking how is it going so far. Alhamdulillah... it makes me the happiest girl when talking about it. i am right now in my 2nd yr, which considered as the final year. my research is going to start soon. and i am nervous about it as well. but i guess, this is a good kind of nervous. heheh...

in the 1st class for  new semester last week. ;) heheh...

2 more papers to go and i'm done by next semester with all the classes, Inshaa Allah.

i will most probably extend my study for 1 semester because i will be focussing on my research without the interfering with classes at uni. i must confess that i am not much of a multi tasker. i do things slow and bits by bits most of the time. and i'm pretty happy with my way of doing things. the best thing about going back to uni is that i feel fresher. i feel content.. i feel alive kot mostly... imagine being in teaching line for almost 7 yrs, terasa sungguh letih. tired of the job.. hate the boss... hate the attitude of some co-workers, etc..etc.. i was afraid i would be burnt out before i hit 10 yrs of teaching experience. i'm only 31 yrs old... i have long way to go in this business, if Allah will. so i don't want to be upset with my job. 

The only way to rejuvenate myself i think, i need to back and study. i need to upgrade myself professionally. forget about naik pangkat dalam sistem politeknik yang sunggh merapu... i hate it. in fact i have heard so many cases of polytechnic lecturers blah and join other institution after they get their Master and Ph.D because of the frustrations. and i don't understand why some people still terhegeh-hegeh nak jadi pensyarah poli?? seriously, tak paham.As for me, i also have my own mission after finishing my studies too. Inshaa Allah.

Anyways, my point is, going back to study is the best thing ever. i truly enjoy. Alhamdulillah. i find new great friends, locals and internationals too. things have been fun so far. and when u truly enjoy something then only u can deliver well and perform well too. i can feel that this is happening to me. Syukur.. my semester results have been good. i get A and A- only. this kind of thing motivates me more. ;)

as for family, i try my level best to spend lots of time with my baby. i am not gonna say that everything has been perfect. no, sometimes when u are tired all u need is just rest and sleep and the guilty feelings about not having longer time with your baby is always there. but, i will try to make up the loss. we try to bring Maryam to her favorite places. bawak pegi main, pegi playground, etc. 

yesterday we were back on horse stable. her favorite place ever kot.

sayang pony... dia kata masa ni.

 ever since she was 1 yr ++ we have exposed her with horseback riding. but not  joining any classes like that, tak mampu la i suami isteri.. huhu.. but more on  spend time with horses only. she loves it. she likes cats, rabbit and horses. but i can see that she is much more natural with horses. yesterday we went to a stables in Balik Pulau, Penang. the ususal place, and boleh dikatakan the owner pun happy having Maryam there too. they would snap pictures of her with their horses. and they were amazed to see how natural Maryam was everytime she approaced horses or rode them. tak payah ajar, she basically aquire the skill on her own i guess. the best moment when she actually played peek-a-boo with the pony. Masha Allah, cute sungguh. she would stroke the pony so gently, hugged and even kissed the pony. kita yang tengok ni pulak seriau.

muka paling tak boleh sabaq... kept telling she wanted to be on the horse for hundreds of time. letih menjawab!

she's gonna turn 3 yrs pretty soon. in november to be exact. how time flies kan... yes, we do want more children but let me finish my study first and see how it goes. ada rezeki, ada lah kan... Maryam pun dah semakin membesar and semakin memahami that she is alone. kesian jugak tak ada adik. heheh... 

ok, that's all...

ohh husband. still the same husband. hahahha...

biasa lah... dah kawen almost 4 yrs ni, semakin banyak kita cuba memahami pasangan. he's been helpful. alot helpful these days. hahaha... i think i have to let go certain things too... biar husband yang buat jugak. especially berkaitan Maryam. dulu masa awal2 sem i sambung belajar, i would station Maryam at my mak's place, tapi nowadays, i trust him.. lantak lah dua beranak ni nak bedal ice cream and coklat banyak mana pun sepanjang i tak dak umah, dan rumah in one big mess pun.. i'm fine with it.janji hepi.

ok, till i write again.

Welcoming ceremony for the postgraduate candidates.

the line up of the deans

so my journey as a student has officially began as off yesterday. we had to attend the Welcoming Ceremony where we were introduced to the management of the University. i had a blast meeting my new classmates. hahaha...it's always nice meeting new people for me. i love the experience every time. but one major thing i noticed after yerterday's event, while we were listening to the briefing and speeches from the dean and the  USM Deputy Canselor, the experience sort of strenghten my will to continue this journey with an open heart. it makes me stop thinking of " whether i could or could not" commit. Alhamdulillah... i think i have not taken the wrong turn, Insya Allah. meeting people who have the same objective as yours makes you feel stronger and positive kot. i met a classmate who just delivered her first child last months and she is from Kuala Kangsar. she shared her feelings towards her decision to continue her studies despites having a baby and a job, just make me feel so blessed. i think this kind of woman is by far stronger than myself. so, i find peace thinking of it.

tengah bediri nak nyanyi.hehehe

so yesterday's event ended with a positive thoughts in mind. jumpa pulak kawan2 yang sekepala memang bonus kan. one thing is that when you are a postgraduate candidates your sense of team work is stronger kot. we feel that we are equal. have the same objective. the same commitments (work, family, etc) and have to attend  class in the evening. hehehe...so semua orang memahami situasi masing-masing. insyaAllah rasa tak laa sorang2..semua sedia membantu gitu. heheh...

the oath

when i saw all the deans walk into the hall, my god..i miss the robe and go up on the stage to grab  your scroll again. dulu i panggil robe tu baju harry potter... seeing these people wearing the robe, and when they were introduced as Professors or Associate Professors, huiii... meremang bulu roma. to all the friends who left university years ago, i only got 1 question to ask. "DON'T YOU MISS THE MOMENTS OF YOUR CONVOCATION DAY?" or the very least, "DON'T YOU MISS YOUR UNIVERSITY?"

So, next monday is going to be my first day of going back attending lecture and stuffs after almost 6 years of working, which i really look forward to.May Allah S.W.T guide my path all the way to the end. Amin.

less wordy wednesday.

opportunity knocks, but only once in a while... don't let it pass us by~

Raya~

Assalamualaikum & Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

masih mood raya kan... masuk office pun pikir weekend ni nak pi open house rumah sapa pulak? or at least kat office masing-masing there are still jamuan-jamuan Raya berlangsung kan? well, at least my office masih belum buat and akan buat next week...hehehe...

oh my god...best baca people's updates on raya celebrations...as for us, kami beraya sakan tu tak la jugak,,tahun ni just like the previous years, we would visit all the relatives. the close ones. like usual, first Raya we would always be at my mak's. the second day would always be at my in-laws. sebab?? hahahha... PIL i selalunya 1st raya depa balik rumah tok wan. so ramai2 depa kumpul di Sanglang Kedah and celebrate raya. so Rizal always insists that we celebrate kat Penang dulu. lagi pun mak i pun tak ada sapa2. just us anak2. kesian pulak. tahun ni agak special, my PIL celebrated the Ramadhan & Raya terus kat Pahang rumah adik Rizal. lagi laa...kami beraya sakan di penang ni..kahkahkah...gelak jahat! hui..tak baik....

basically, our raya this year were ok...makan ja keja...now dah kena diet balik. seksa dah tengok scale. naik 1.6 kg. ntah mana datang angkat 1.6 kg terlebih tu...i makan macam biasa jugak...(i mean i had too many cheat days) choyyy!

so Maryam had a blast celebrating her Raya this year... she is now 1 year 9 months. so everything was all about her ja la...baju raya dia saja 7 pasang. mak bapak sorang sepasang saja. lain semua i recyle baju kerja pi beraya. hahahah...

tahun ni bawak anak beraya, mood anak dah pandai nak berkawan dan bermain dengan kawan2. so, it was a different experience.last year baby2 lagi kan...tahun ni..dah banyak akai~

one thing i noticed, tahun ni i pi beraya rumah kawan2 and relative tak ramai budak2 sangat. duit raya yang kami reserved asing untuk bagi kat budak2 ada balance lagi RM150. so, masuk tabung anak ja la semua tu.hehehe...ka kami yang tak banyak bejalan tahun ni?? i think we covered abeh dah rumah kawan2 and close relatives...cumanya budak2 sekolah ni tak banyak mai beraya gamaknya.

tengok rupa budak 1 tahun 9 bulan beraya di hari raya pertama,kerj kira sampul duit saja laa hari tu. dapat duit terus bukak sampul. keluarkan duit, bagi duit kat mak dia and dia main dengan sampul duit raya saja...kalau orang bagi sampul upin ipin lagi laa, dia request pulak lagi nak 1 lagi sampul duit raya..hhuuu anakku....

tengah kira keuntungan- busy day!

a true definition of Raya for her...

so on the afternoon, lepas salin baju, we headed to my bestie's house Anna. ini memang acara wajib la...tiap2 tahun. sebelum balik kami singgah playground kat situ bagi budak ni main puas2 dulu. hehhh...

the second day, we headed to Alor Star to my in laws' place. since tahun ni depa beraya di Pahang, so we went to my SIL and a visited a few friends there. tu ja la raya kami...actually to say that we had  finised the raya celebration macam tak jugak..ada ja orang jemput pi rumah...so, i guess we are still celebrating. kuih raya pun ada lagi at my place, sapa nak datang habaq ja...ewahhh!

balik loq Staq. (Alor Setar) hehh..

Thank you to all of our relatives and friends who invited us to their places for makan2..we truly enjoyed that. and this year, i guess i tak sempat nak buat apa2 gathering raya for my friends because i could not find the most suitable time. so, i decided that this time i just nak pegi beraya rumah orang saja. hahahah...teruk dak?

and one more reason that i cancelled to do any makan2 at my house because of this thing below.....

 i'm going to start class soon. in fact i have a registration day to attend this coming weekend. gosh, i can't really explain how i feel about going back to university this time around. it's different i guess. i am not that excited like the first time. honestly, i have not done anything regarding registration day. medical check up and everything...i've done nothing!! ZERO. slamber kan! ni sambung blajar sebab tedesak ka apa ni? hahahah...

but, whatever it is, i have to really commit to this new life. being a mom and student and wife and daughter and worker...all at the same time... can i really handle the pressure?? i'm hoping for the best...May Allah S.W.T guide me all the time. i have to say this, i am not continuing my studies because i have to. no, it's because i feel that this is what i have always wanted. and to say that i have lots of money to pay for my education is such a wrong thing...i sacrifice. that's all i could say. and it's not fun to sacrifice. very hard. and i hope that all the hard work will be worthwhile laaa... InsyaAllah, kan!

i have always believed that, if u want to do more, develop more, u have to get the hell out of your comfort zone. or else u will stuck at the same place forever. u know what i mean...and i cannot be too comfortable with what i have now. i need to develop. and i hope the sacrifice i make will have a positive impact on my child one day. i hope i'm setting a good example to her too in future.

i don't come from a well off family, i myself don't have any possession to pass down to my child, but i always believe that if i have knowledge, i have everything. (homaigod...nak tegelak pulak baca ayat sendiri)

so, for those yang suka compare diri sendiri dengan orang lain tu, i just want to say, we are all almost the same. the sacrifice we have to make that makes us different.

if u want something, u sacrifice. don't complaint about other people having more or less. that is not the case.

 ok, apa i mengarut ni?? Master ja kot....besepah orang pakat buat..i ja yang slow!

Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir dan Batin from the bottom of my heart...to all my family members and friends. i'm sure u all had a great time! ;)

raya 2012.

Ohh, before that...look at the picture above, that was last year when Maryam first time celebrated Hari Raya. look at her now...haishhh..besaq dah anak dara i...

Hairdo!

redha ja la rambut kena cantas.

orang lain mesti busy fikir baju raya during the weekend kan? i was busy thinking to trim my girl's hair... yeah, it was her first ever experience at a hair salon. we went to Loreal. see?? i even brought her to a professional to deal with her messy hair... rambut anak i bukan laa kategori tebal or banyak or terlalu panjang...we just had a good trim of her fringe ja cos she looked very uncomfortable whenever rambut dia menutup mata...plus it's not cute.hahahha...

so, how was the experince? well, did i ever tell you all that i have a VERRRY active and can't it still child?? hahaha...the hair cut that she had at the salon was very calm,smooth and very easy moment for the hair stylist...in fact i was surprised to see how well behaved  Maryam was.*insert a very proud mommy here*

she basically, followed the instructions well although she didn't really understand...i was worried she would turn her head left to right. or worst she would scream like crazy! but no, she sat there still with no movement...hahahah...tegelak2 mak! it was definitely something new for both of us.

and after she finished her session the hair stylist lifted her and dukung for a while and took pictures...was soo cute moments.he asked me how many kids i have, i said she's the only one. and he said "no need anymore child, u have a good one here"  ;) sweet kan!

Masuk Keluar Kelas pun bermula lagi

welcome new semester for all polytechnics in Malaysia...

macam-macam lah!

hello blog... as always, it has been a while... LOL

check this out... this is a normal scenario when u are raising a little Miss Diva at home... mommy's lipstick is also considered hers. haru jugak dapat mommy yang sangat cuai seperti mommy Maryam ni... *sigh* i was in the car just now, thought of applying a bit of lipstic, to my surprise, the lispstic was ruined! waaaa..... sebak! i am not the type of person who wears make up. to me a tint of lipstick is the only make up i wear on a daily basis if i go out. looks, like i need to buy a new lipstick again.... huhu... ohh, yess this is not the first time my daughter played with my only "make-up"

 so, how is my lil' Miss Diva now? oh, syukur Alhamdulillah, Maryam is doing great  these days... lagi banyak akal dia ada laa... and i must admit that personally i think rasing a toddler is such a fun activity. hahahah...noooo i loveee babies. but i never expected that having a growing up toddler is sooo much fun. i mean, i love to see her copying what i say, i love seeing her trying to sing with her own cute language and definitely love to see her when she is at her best mood. *semua orang suka kot hoi*

 ohh, nowadays i see that my baby takes certain orders well, so i kinda "bully" he a bit...haha... how fun it is to have a person who is willingly help u when u ask for it.. seriously...seronok suruh anak angkat dan simpan toys seniri...and the best thing is to see her waking up in the morning and straight away bringing her milk bottle to the kitchen for me to wash without asking... Alhamdulillah....it's so rewarding to see her doing that every single day...yeah, i am one proud mom here. i'm sure other kids act the same too. kan! ;)

i think i should consider to send her to a kindy by next year, insyaAlla as i can see that she loves people. i mean, she is a friendly lil' girl. she is comfortable around strangers. which i have to be very careful jugak some time...cos she will say "hi"  and "babye" to just about anybody. suara pun boleh tahan kuat...huiiii...

ohh look there's my husband who have lost a lot of weight with Herbalife... see that flat tummy? trust me he used to look like a pregnant person..nowadays...no more.. hahahah...

mei 2013

and that's me, ok this was taken last month.. .ok laa i lost weight too...wanna see my old picture? i am sorry as i am not comfortable to upload these pictures in a bigger size. it is kinda personal to me. and being that fat was tough for me. tak tau nak explain apa perasaan i bila tengok gambar i when i was around 91kg -95kg early this year.depressing i guess.

january 2013

 ha..ambik..besaq kan kak tonnnn? this was taken in early january this year. ada beza skit kan with the pictures above?? i have been struggling with weight issue ever sinve i gave birth.. and syukur Alhamdulillah, although i have not achived my ideal weight weigh just yet, at least i am losing weight these days..slow and healthily.. and the best part is, i feel more energetic and always in a happy mood... Alhamdulilah...dengan izin Allah. ;)i am not a big appetite kind of peson. i don't really eat much. i even had gastric previously because i always skipped my dinner. but i gained weight so rapidly even though i didn't eat much. now, i am doing well, no gastric and losing weight quite easily and now that i am losing some weight it feels good again. ;) Alhamdulillah.

PRU 13

yes! i did my part this time. to be honest, i didn't vote for the previous election 5 years ago. because? well, i actually thought it didn't matter. tak matang betul jawapan i.

so, picture wajib lepas mengundi harus lah disemadikan di facebook or di blog jugak. eheheh...well, i think no matter what party we prefer, the main thing is we are Malaysian. it's just sad to see the way people were bickering for the past few weeks. and as a Malaysian and a Muslim, it's just terrible to see how some of us were willing to go to a certain extend to get the point accrossed. 

whatever it is, i am sure many of us have the best intension to keep our country united and prosperous kan!

i actually got very confused to pangkah who? at the very last minute before i went into the voting room, i asked my husband. "nak pangaksah sapa ni?" then he said laa party XYX. did i really pangkah XYX?? hahahha... ehh, undi adalah rahsia.

:-\ 

oh my god i am just suck at talking politics! so i better stop now before i do any damage to this entry. hahahaha...

PEACE!

"Bila nak bagi adik kat Maryam?"

Lama tak menaip entry. kekok pulak. ewahhh..mengada! today i've no evening class and office work pun tak berapa demanding sangat hari ni, so i thought of curi masa writing something for the sake of missing writing. ada ka?? hehh...

Rasa macam dah lama sangat tak udpate anything. the reason being ... i have nothing to write. hehehe.. so today i think i have something to write after encountered a few pregnancy stories and got to know that many people who gave birth almost towards the end of 2011 or early 2012, which was my batch la beranak time tu now are already pregnant with their second child. woww... you go girls!! seronok baca stories depa.

Also at the same time, lately i've been getting a frequent question regarding when will i be having the next baby?? 

My first reactions in this topic is always "HAHAH....SOON" just enough to keep them guessing or satisfying with my answer. heheh...

Kalau jawab, "ehh anak i baru setahun tiga bulan you..." confirmed orang balas "ehh...i dulu anak umur setahun dah pregnant balik. tak mau buang masa, etc..etc..etc.."

i am not gonna lie that sometimes i do wish i could post a pregnancy test that shows a double lines or a scan picture of my uterus with a baby sack here. hahaha...

Honestly, it is NOT an annoying question at all. in fact it is a positive question. :) i think i welcome this sort of question anytime. it gets me into the baby mood i think.. i loveeee babies...i remember telling  my hubs that i didn't want Maryam to grow up. i wanted her to remain a baby forever as i see her growing by the day.

Who didn't like babies. their pretty, smell heavenly and adorable looking. kan!! well, messy but cute.

Even the hubs is almost ready for the second baby. he said that to me if ada rezeki maybe we can have another baby this year. 

But mostly i would just keep quiet when he said that. hehehe..dunno how to react. i think i am the one who is not ready for baby number 2 just yet. How la to welcome a new baby?? We're moving into a new house by the end of this year. i think moving into a new house requires a whole lot of energy and time and everything. i can't see myself being pregnant and busy with the new house. i want to be involve in the process of moving out of this current rental house and get busy with the new house too. i can't be sitting and heavily pregnant at that time looking and giving orders to people. that just not fun! hahahah...adakah alasan i ini mengarut??? seriously...

if i get pregnant now, by November i would already be in labour kot. and we're planning to move into the new house around that time also. again, HOW laaa...

The second reason is that i am planning to pursue my post graduate studies this year.InsyaaAllah. and the new semester will take place in September. Unlike those days sem baru started on June tak silap. so now i have to wait for September. i can't register myself in September and like 2 months later tangguh sem pulak because i have to give birth. that's just not me.. at least i should finish one semester and then have my baby number 2. okay kot tangguh. hahahha berniat tangguh jugak rupanya...

Seriously, these 2 agendas in my life currently make me stop wishing to get pregnant soon. not that i simply don't want another baby. i think betul lah kata orang, after sometime, when we forget the pain of giving birth and the baby starts to get a little bit older, we start having the feeling of missing being pregnant again. rite??

yep, i miss being fat like that...and i love looking at the preggers nowadays. simply beautiful. ;)) now i understand, no matter how ugly i felt when i was pregnant previously, i think there are people secretly thinking "ohh seronoknya tengok dia tu pregnant". at least i think that way.

Another reason is that i wanted to be ready. Like 120% ready with the second pregnancy and in welcoming the new one into the family. Physically, mentally, financially and also making sure that My Maryam is also ready to have another sibling too. After a year plus of giving birth i still have not lost a lot of weight. depressing sangat lah tengok badan seniri... i have to get back in shape and energetic mostly if i want to get pregnant. that is why i am currently planning to hit the gym and shake off these fats. i have too much fat. i need to get rid of them first. i want to be healthy while i am pregnant. that's my gold. dok tunggu gym tu bukak next month. baru nak pi. hehh...hari2 i pi buat lawatan tak rasmi tau, ushar gym tu. it's exclusively for female only gym. so tak segan sangat nak gedik santai di situ.

Readiness is very important  in my case as i want to the second pregnancy and baby to be a focus point when the time comes. i didn't manage to breastfeed Maryam for as long as i wanted because of a few circumstances which i think was fully my fault. i didn't equip myself with enough knowledge and also i failed to continue providing her the breast milk at least until she was 6 months. she stopped at almost 5 months only. i don't want to reminiscent of the past thinking how it went wrong. biar la berlalu... and i think Maryam is very healthy and smart girl. she is even more healthy than the brestfed babies i know. so i consider this as our rezeki. Alhamdulillah and i am very proud of her. she is learning to speak nowadays and she uses English too. she's only 15months. ;) see, i'm proud like that. hope when she finally able to read, she will read  this and know how proud mommy is when talking about Maryam.

i went through a not so easy breezy pregnancy stage. with two pregnacies i've had before they were quite tough. one ended with a miscarriage. i disappeared from the blogging world for a while and only managed to write back when i was at 6 months pregnant. when i finally felt good to join this social meadia back. really, my pregnancies were awful. i felt miserable and gloomy at least the first 20 weeks. it was so hard for me back then that i had to take unpaid leave. couldn't work, couldn't eat, couldn't socialise, PUKED ALL DAY... hadoi... so i better rest for a while la.. i know every pregnancy is different. i might have a great pregnancy next. who knows...tak bermakna i cakap camni i takot nak pregnant lagi okay... ;)) bukan i tak enjoy langsung my pregnancy...i had great times too...Alhamdulillah.

ok apa lagi reason i boleh state kat sini?Well...hmm..tu saja kot for now...i want to clarify that i am not rejecting the fact that ANAK ITU REZEKI DAN SIAPA KITA UNTUK MENENTUKAN BILA PATUT DIA DATANG. Not at all, itu cakap orang yang tak beriman pada pendapat i. but, i think in general people have their own reasons of why they plan to gap their childeren's age. as for me, these are basically how i feel. and i don't think it's a right thing to do something without being ready first.i'm just suck at multitasking! hahahha...

okay, peace!

handling these two people in my life pun is quite handful, i think. ;p

p.s. i tak sentap pon orang tanya soalan kat i...i'm fine...herherher...positive kan minda dan hati. 

a bit P*** Off

Any normal human being will be annoyed with a very unprofessional deal made. RIGHT? i simply think that people who would cancel your order after you have already made the payment is just unprofessional. so unprofessional.

 i recieved an sms telling me that the  vendor has cancelled my orders because they have another functions that the decided to focus on. WHAT THE....

Seriously i was bengang la...and they said they would deposit back my money (which i paid FULL) hui....panas telinga aku!

But, i didn't want to show that i was desperate at the same time so i calmly reply the sms by telling :-

" well, i just think that u guys are irresponsible and very unprofessional. But, thank you so much for informing me."

 

Takpa la, i take it as not rezeki. but i am a bit pissed because we have been discussing everything for quite sometime, and for them to pull out, SANGAT MENYAKITKAN HATI.

Luckily, another vendor willing to take my order and now going through the discussion and the drafts to approve, is a bit of a hassle because i lost my motivation dah.

What kind of a business person who would pull out at the last minute?? Macam ni la a few Melayu, bila dapat big order, yang small order they would let go...Benci aku!

Anyhow, i have to get myself together, plan everything slowly all over again. *pff..*