"Bila nak bagi adik kat Maryam?"

Lama tak menaip entry. kekok pulak. ewahhh..mengada! today i've no evening class and office work pun tak berapa demanding sangat hari ni, so i thought of curi masa writing something for the sake of missing writing. ada ka?? hehh...

Rasa macam dah lama sangat tak udpate anything. the reason being ... i have nothing to write. hehehe.. so today i think i have something to write after encountered a few pregnancy stories and got to know that many people who gave birth almost towards the end of 2011 or early 2012, which was my batch la beranak time tu now are already pregnant with their second child. woww... you go girls!! seronok baca stories depa.

Also at the same time, lately i've been getting a frequent question regarding when will i be having the next baby?? 

My first reactions in this topic is always "HAHAH....SOON" just enough to keep them guessing or satisfying with my answer. heheh...

Kalau jawab, "ehh anak i baru setahun tiga bulan you..." confirmed orang balas "ehh...i dulu anak umur setahun dah pregnant balik. tak mau buang masa, etc..etc..etc.."

i am not gonna lie that sometimes i do wish i could post a pregnancy test that shows a double lines or a scan picture of my uterus with a baby sack here. hahaha...

Honestly, it is NOT an annoying question at all. in fact it is a positive question. :) i think i welcome this sort of question anytime. it gets me into the baby mood i think.. i loveeee babies...i remember telling  my hubs that i didn't want Maryam to grow up. i wanted her to remain a baby forever as i see her growing by the day.

Who didn't like babies. their pretty, smell heavenly and adorable looking. kan!! well, messy but cute.

Even the hubs is almost ready for the second baby. he said that to me if ada rezeki maybe we can have another baby this year. 

But mostly i would just keep quiet when he said that. hehehe..dunno how to react. i think i am the one who is not ready for baby number 2 just yet. How la to welcome a new baby?? We're moving into a new house by the end of this year. i think moving into a new house requires a whole lot of energy and time and everything. i can't see myself being pregnant and busy with the new house. i want to be involve in the process of moving out of this current rental house and get busy with the new house too. i can't be sitting and heavily pregnant at that time looking and giving orders to people. that just not fun! hahahah...adakah alasan i ini mengarut??? seriously...

if i get pregnant now, by November i would already be in labour kot. and we're planning to move into the new house around that time also. again, HOW laaa...

The second reason is that i am planning to pursue my post graduate studies this year.InsyaaAllah. and the new semester will take place in September. Unlike those days sem baru started on June tak silap. so now i have to wait for September. i can't register myself in September and like 2 months later tangguh sem pulak because i have to give birth. that's just not me.. at least i should finish one semester and then have my baby number 2. okay kot tangguh. hahahha berniat tangguh jugak rupanya...

Seriously, these 2 agendas in my life currently make me stop wishing to get pregnant soon. not that i simply don't want another baby. i think betul lah kata orang, after sometime, when we forget the pain of giving birth and the baby starts to get a little bit older, we start having the feeling of missing being pregnant again. rite??

yep, i miss being fat like that...and i love looking at the preggers nowadays. simply beautiful. ;)) now i understand, no matter how ugly i felt when i was pregnant previously, i think there are people secretly thinking "ohh seronoknya tengok dia tu pregnant". at least i think that way.

Another reason is that i wanted to be ready. Like 120% ready with the second pregnancy and in welcoming the new one into the family. Physically, mentally, financially and also making sure that My Maryam is also ready to have another sibling too. After a year plus of giving birth i still have not lost a lot of weight. depressing sangat lah tengok badan seniri... i have to get back in shape and energetic mostly if i want to get pregnant. that is why i am currently planning to hit the gym and shake off these fats. i have too much fat. i need to get rid of them first. i want to be healthy while i am pregnant. that's my gold. dok tunggu gym tu bukak next month. baru nak pi. hehh...hari2 i pi buat lawatan tak rasmi tau, ushar gym tu. it's exclusively for female only gym. so tak segan sangat nak gedik santai di situ.

Readiness is very important  in my case as i want to the second pregnancy and baby to be a focus point when the time comes. i didn't manage to breastfeed Maryam for as long as i wanted because of a few circumstances which i think was fully my fault. i didn't equip myself with enough knowledge and also i failed to continue providing her the breast milk at least until she was 6 months. she stopped at almost 5 months only. i don't want to reminiscent of the past thinking how it went wrong. biar la berlalu... and i think Maryam is very healthy and smart girl. she is even more healthy than the brestfed babies i know. so i consider this as our rezeki. Alhamdulillah and i am very proud of her. she is learning to speak nowadays and she uses English too. she's only 15months. ;) see, i'm proud like that. hope when she finally able to read, she will read  this and know how proud mommy is when talking about Maryam.

i went through a not so easy breezy pregnancy stage. with two pregnacies i've had before they were quite tough. one ended with a miscarriage. i disappeared from the blogging world for a while and only managed to write back when i was at 6 months pregnant. when i finally felt good to join this social meadia back. really, my pregnancies were awful. i felt miserable and gloomy at least the first 20 weeks. it was so hard for me back then that i had to take unpaid leave. couldn't work, couldn't eat, couldn't socialise, PUKED ALL DAY... hadoi... so i better rest for a while la.. i know every pregnancy is different. i might have a great pregnancy next. who knows...tak bermakna i cakap camni i takot nak pregnant lagi okay... ;)) bukan i tak enjoy langsung my pregnancy...i had great times too...Alhamdulillah.

ok apa lagi reason i boleh state kat sini?Well...hmm..tu saja kot for now...i want to clarify that i am not rejecting the fact that ANAK ITU REZEKI DAN SIAPA KITA UNTUK MENENTUKAN BILA PATUT DIA DATANG. Not at all, itu cakap orang yang tak beriman pada pendapat i. but, i think in general people have their own reasons of why they plan to gap their childeren's age. as for me, these are basically how i feel. and i don't think it's a right thing to do something without being ready first.i'm just suck at multitasking! hahahha...

okay, peace!

handling these two people in my life pun is quite handful, i think. ;p

p.s. i tak sentap pon orang tanya soalan kat i...i'm fine...herherher...positive kan minda dan hati. 

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Look Maryam!! You were inside mom's tummy!! cool huh??

Pregnancy Week 37

Finally,...today is my last day at work.

tata my office...

tata my table...

i shall see u again in February 2012, InsyaAllah...

And soon i will be preoccupied with these stuffs...heheh...

p/s: dalam hati penuh debaran..dup dap, dup dap...

p.p./s: okeh, tak tau nak tulis apa lagi...papai!



i might be going into labor next week at WEEK 37!

Yeah! that's what the doctor has suggested us during last sunday's check up. oh no~ suddenly i am not ready cos i have always set in my mind that the due date is on the 23rd.November not earlier. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME EXACTLY?? well, my blood pressure seems to get higher every time we when for check up. it has sky rocketed to 150 last week. so the doctor said that if it continues to get higher or the maintain at 150, i need to be induced for early delivery. OH NO I AM SO NOT READY TO BE FORCED INTO LABOUR~HELPPPPPPPP~

I guess this is the thing what people always say " we can only plan, but Allah will determine everything"

So, when i found that that maybe this is the final week for me to carry this tummy, i kinda freaked out a bit, especially last nite. after a day of digesting the fact i will have to give birth most probbaly next tuesday, i cried a lttle bit. I AM SCARED, what to expect kan?? especially when it comes to things like this when u are forced to give birth. what if something bad, something really bad happens during that time?? will my baby be fine?i keep thinking of that. next week the baby will be 37 weeks. on the bright side, at 37 weeks a baby is considered as full term baby as the doctor said and it's ready to see the world, inyaAllah the baby will be strong enough. Amin.

i dunno what to think cos currently i am buried with exam papers, still marking and keying in the marks of my students' final. i am supposed to be resting at home by now, but i cannot. i am a bit disappointed when i was told to finish marking the papers, and key in the marks before i go off. agak terkilan when i said the word I NEED TO REST, apparently, some people cannot fully comprehend the word REST. instead, giving me option to be at home and mark the papers and come back to office to send them when i am done! WHATTTT?????! then what's the used of having the special time table for preggers??? they went trought the trouble of creating a new set of time table just in case i need to go to labour earlier. BUT I CANNOT USE THAT NOW FOR MY BENEFIT. i am again, a little bit diappointed. what if i gave birth today?? how can i come back to office?? sooo weird~

So yesterday, after a brief discussion, i went back to my table, i sat down and gave it a deep thought. i decided to complete all the marking and key in. Alhamdulillah, im almost finished with one more class to go. i think i can start keying the mark in the system this evening..Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me the strenghts to continue doing my works till the end without troubling or should i say, BURDENING any of my co-workers. but, i terasa hati sikit lah, sebab, when it comes to my turn, this kind of thing happened.

It's ok tak dapat rehat awal sikit tak pa la...i have always believed that kalau kita mempermudahkan orang lain, insyaAllah, Allah akan mempermudahkan kita pulak in return. so i better get over it! quickly finish my work and i can start resting at least for a few days before going into "battle" i mean, labour. heheh...

my current state of mind right now is 50% thinking of my work, and another half is thinking about my condition and my baby inside. i hope my blood pressure will subside a lttle bit. but i guess it's almost impossible when i keep going on about it in my head. i need to relax and redha, kan?? kerja memang penat otak, tapi semua orang penat otak jugak, bukan i sorang. Also, next week baby dah cukup matang untuk tengok dunia. i kena fikir macam tu. TAWAKAL to Allah of what i have to face nect week. cukuplah Allah sebagai tempat bergantung, kan! ;)

i should be more excited rather that scared cos i will soon meet my first born! that is the biggest achievement in a woman's life, right? not all women are blessed with pregnancy, birthing, and baby...i should be grateful of going though these dispite the circumstances. Alhamdulillah, i am almost there. almost complete my pregnancy journey. ;)

So, to all friends, please pray for me, i am still scared okay. ;-( i hope eveything will be ok. Amin.

Dear Allah,

Please help me, please help my baby, Amin.

sekian, nanti update lagi ya!




aci tak, nak baby keluar muka camni? huhu~



36 weeks pregnant is equal to 9 months. (status terkini)

Assalamualaikum. ( baru perasaan i had never given a salam in my previous entries. hehe)

i am currently at my  week 36 of pregnancy and many have said that looking at my condition it might not be long anymore. alamak...when everybody seems to say the same thing it makes me believe that i may be given birth anytime soon. the power of psychology i guess.

because i believe i might be going to labour soon, nowadays i have been getting some weird feelings as if Braxton Hicks or maybe false contractions or maybe that's what i believe, i dunno.. but senang cakap, i dah start rasa sakit-sakit sikit. maybe it was nothing, just a normal feelings / discomforts that a pregnant woman might feel, again i dunno... i am just hoping that if it's really the time to go to labour, at least ada tanda yang sangat jelas like bloody show, of water bag pecah or anything clear for me to head to the hospital immidiately. cos i really don't know what it feels like when u are about to give birth. setakat yang boleh ditahan, i think i tahan saja laa...i have an appointment with my doctor this coming weekend, and i am a bit nervous just in case this time punya visit i kena beranak dah...huuuu...takotnya!!

i guess i am being denial that soon i will have a baby kot? i tend not to think much what's gonna happen when the baby arrives. how my life would tremendously change in every single way soon. i am not being negative at all, ok. in fact, i am very excited to be a mother. it's just that i still cannot believe that i am going to be a parent real soon. cemana la ekk?? i have seen how happy other bloggers telling their stories about their birth experiences. some are really enjoying to read and some are a bit scary for me. i would find myself in tears everytime i read those kind of stories, seriously! walaupun kadang2 cita depa semua cam lawak or biasa saja, or memang betul punya tragik, still semua birthing stories bloggers yang i baca smua bagi i touching laa... and at one point ada jugak yang bagi kuat semangat diri seniri jugak. ;) buat rasa tak sabarnya nk beranak! hahaha..

so, as for the current updates of my situasion nowadays, i guess i am still busy with my work. i have about 110 anwer scripts to be marked starting today,prepare the students' marks, key in the marks in poly system, prepare reports and a few others before the end of next week. *PHEW*

students answers scripts - kena ada mood baru boleh mark. if not, abeh laa markah budak2 ni.

oh yes, i have taken the borang cuti bersalin lebih awal last tuesday at our admind here, and tomorrow i will submit it. as government servant, we are allowed to take 2 weeks early this kind of cuti before the actual EDD. so what the heck, rugi lak tak amik kan. at least i can rest at home. just in case, in 2 weeks time i am still not giving birth, i will proceed with my annual leave which i have approximately 14 days left. banyak kan cuti i? ehehehe... tak larat dah i nak panjat tangga opis pi mai pi mai, tu i nak cuti.  

borang kerajaan ni memang selalu confusing nk isi - banyak ayat2 yang pelik & isi benda yang sama 2-3 kali. aiyakkk!

My Ketua Program pun awal pagi tadi nampak ja muka i terus tanya "LAA ADA LAGI KA? TAK CUTI2 LAGI?" nampak sangat i patut cuti kan~hahaha... mana tak nya, jalan pun dah senget2. not only that, solat pun bila tahiyat akhir kadang sampai i tegolek tebalik - all because i have lost my balance, also perut makin besar! kelakar gila...tepaksa la ulang balik dari rakaat pertama. mencabar sungguh! ;p

that's all i guess about my current updates at week 36.

sekian, nanti update lagi, InsyaAllah.

much love!!

Pregnancy Week 35

 At week 35, swollen  feet can sometimes annoy me...but never mind, a price to pay for a bundle of joy that is coming real soon...ohh, look at my ugly nails...can't properly clip them and rizal has to do the clipping sometimes. but most of the time i would do it myself..but the result is horrible! hahahha...cos i can't really bent properly...

Not So Wordless Wednesday~


Entering pregnancy WEEK 34 already! and That's how i look so far...hahahha dari jauh pun nampak still BESAR kan?? ish..ish..ish...



So at week 34 ni, Alhamdulillah i have managed to complete my BABY CHECK LIST and i am so relieved that i don't have to go back & forth fromperlis to penang frequently anymore. all of the baby's necessities are safely at my mak's place in penang. and i only brought back to perlis the hospital bag because i plan to head back to penang right after i have been discharged from PMC, insyaAllah.

last week my mak helped me to sort out what to put in the hospital bag and i conviniently did nothing but watch mak did everything.hahahha...i do help by checking all the stuffs though.but my mak did everything. melipat, mengemas, menyusun....hehehhe...i must admit i love the way my mak's sorting out the bag, or lugage since i was in university. bukan i pemalas sangat  but since kat uni lagi, whenever it was time to go back to campus, i would always ask my mak to help me put my things together. no particular reasons just i suka the way my mak kemas bag. hehehe...ada personal touch kot~

At week 34 jugak, i can definitely feel such a big changes in me - i become more and more slower in terms of my movements and tired so badly at night. i could feel the baby's actually going down a bit. i used to feel the baby loved to sit on my right ribs cage, but nowadays, she is right in the middle already. perut pun dan mcam turun sikit. oh my god! im having a baby soon~

this week officially the start of my weekly visit to the doctor sampai la besalin.haihhh, penat jugak cos i live in perlis but i have to go to Alor Star to do the check up. it's around 45 minutes drive. hopefully within the 45 minutes, we will be able to reach PMC if i were to deliver this baby when the time comes. Amin.

ordered from the ever so famous http://bakedecorate2u.com/

sooooo YUMMS!

Lastly, those were the blue velvet cup cakes well maybe greenish blue kot that i ordered simply to commemorate our 1st Anniversary that had to be postponed last week. we celebrated by having luch at our favorite spot in penang. biasa2 saja la..i don't really have a lot of good pictures to share cos i don't look visually attractive..hahahaha..

1st Wedding Anniversary - postponed & pregnancy routine check up

How time flies and yet it feels just like 6 months ago, since we have been married! pheww~ yesterday 2nd October 2011, the marked of our 1 year of being together as husband and wife. Syukur Alhamdulillah. We have made it for a year. we annoyed each other, we had arguments over stupid stuffs, and so on, yet WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO ENDLESSLY despite all the circumstances.

a year of being together i admid there are thousands of things that we have learnt and still learn of each other. and i guess, the learning of each other will never end.

a year of being together, i must say not every moment is beautiful and full of joy, but it has been colorful with some ups and down too.

a year of being together, i realised that a lot of improvenment within myself to be made.

a year of being together, i am so sure that my husband is such a kind and loving person.

a year of being together, we are very excited for the arriving of our bundle of joy, soon!

a year of being togther, i realised that the annoying of each other part will never be over~

a year of being together, i realised that there so many things await us to be explored ahead.

a year of being together, i am always hopeful Allah will protect us, guide us, love us, help us. Amin~

BUT, guess what?? the anniversary has been postponed~ ;( because of our lack of planning and managing of time. ( padan muka) i ordered some cup cakes but it was a very last minute order, so the baker had to turn down my order despite the appeal i made. (sangat desperate and mintak akak tu accept but cannot). *cry*

then i checked the schedule that i had to go to PMC for my routine check up and i knew it was gonna take long cos it was sunday.sunday is always a busy day there. we stucked for almost 3 hours waiting for our turn to finally see the doctor. so again, i told rizal that maybe it was not a good idea to continue going somewhere to celebrate the anniversary after a long day at the hospital, i was dead tired. so we decided to pospone it instead. insyaAlah, we'll see how it goes this coming weeked. I AM SO EXCITED!

okay, let's talk routine check up now a.k.a cek perut. :) according to the doctor's culcalation, i am now at week 33 of my pregnancy. and after 2 weeks from now, i will have to come for the routin check up each week until i deliever. currently we have to see the doctor every 2 weeks, soon it'll be once a week! hoooomaigod, i'm having a baby soon~

so yesterday, i had to be injected. i asked what kind of injection was i recieving and he said "kancing gigi" i had no idea what it was, just berserah saja and relakan ja lah...heheh...i think, those who does the routine check up at klinik kesihatan kerajaan would recieve the injection pretty early kot. but, the injection was okay, very fast and nothing hurtful. people said that it was gonna hurt and the arm would feel a bit numb right after. i fetl ok je... isi i banyak kot sebab ditampung dengan lemak2 degil. heheheh..

so, i am only left with another injection which he said soon. halamakkk, cucuk lagi rupanya! but it's normal they said. throughout of our pregnancy, we are going to recieve 2 injections.

i gained weight. i mean i gained a lot of weight!! 3kg ++ ok~  but Alhamdulillah, the doctor said my blood test result came perfect and normal.no excess sugar and stuffs. i'm doing fine in term of my health. Alhamdulillah. so does the baby. she's healthy and her current weight is about 1.9kg.

Rizal asked the doctor to print us the scan picture this week but too bad, we cannot see her face. she always covers her face with her hand on her cheek. yesterday i saw the baby actually sucking her fingger, and my heart melted... so the doctor said, there was no use of him printing the scan picture since we can't really see her face. :( it's ok, maybe this baby wants us to see the real her when she's ready to see the world kot?

Hmm, my feelings at this moment is full of anxiousness and nervousness kot. i am always having dreams of the day i have to push this baby out. asyik2 mimpi nak beranak, asyik2 mimpi pegi hospital nak beranak~ adoi!! and honestly, i am scared. but whatever it is, the baby will have to be pushed out soon by me, kan!

Till, i write again~ ;)

i have ballooned~

 That's me at 31 weeks! errr...blur? can't really see the size of my belly? hmm...

okay, okay,....look how huge this belly is. how the heck did i balloon to this extend? i also have the same question on my mind sometimes.. *sigh* looking at this picture i thought i was carrying twins instead of one little girl. hahahah... i have the feelings that most of the weight i have gained so far are not so much of the baby's weight. from the previous check up which was last week the baby weigh 1.5kg. so i was confused, was it because of my eating habits ( which a healthy one ok) that led me to balloon so big?? i must admid i get really hugry almost every 2-3 hours and i have to eat something to curb the feelings.heheheh...

back to my baby's weight so far, the doctor said that the baby is developing normally in terms of her weight according to my weeks of pregnancy. so i asked him what would be the expected weight when i have come to my full term? he said that we're expecting the baby to be at 3kg something! phewwww....i was speechless because i must admid that i'm a little bit afraid i will have to push out a 4kg baby insted! CAN I?? i may seem big, but i posses a very little courage. hukhuk... but, never mind, i should be more positive from now on because that's my only hope! ;) if others can do it, i should too. right?? but i still hope that the doctor's prediction is correct which is 3kg! hahahah...

currently, i am in my final trimester which is not a very comfortable one as compared to the 2nd trimester which was HEAVEN!! i walk very slow nowadays cos i feel so heavy. i'm always short of breath especially during giving my lecture which i have to talk a lot and i can't do anything about it. it's my job. the students notice that i guess and i frequently say "sorry class, give me a few seconds to catch my breath" and the would laugh. many of my colleagues and family actually said that i need to slow down a bit. very true indeed. i tend to forget that i'm pregnant sometimes. :)

my current goal now is just to quickly finish the syllabus so i can go for my maternity leave peacefully.the students are having their finals this end of november so i will have to make sure i finish all the assessments before i start to take leave which is in the early november ,insyaAllah.

in terms of the preparations for the arriving of this lil' one, i have to say, we almost there...hehehhe..almost complete. i am such a shopaholic when it comes to buying baby's clothes. so far we have bought too many clothes for baby and that makes my mak decided to step forward to and say "STOP BUYING ALREADY" hahaha..i can't recall how many times my mak has reminded me to stop buying the clothes. too many.

i can't help myself. buying for baby equals to buying for me although i can't wear them. hahaha..my favourite brand for new born is Pegion, also Truddy & Teddy as these brands have very creative designs for new borns as well as the good quality.so cute!the prices are reasonably good.not as expensive as others kot? besides, we should support the local brands kan! ;) they're very high quality okay.



Hasil tawanan for baby from shopping malls.berbaloi2!

Last time Mothercare had promotion so we took that advantage to buy a few items there as well. i don't really fond of buying baby's stuffs through online though.i'd rather go and choose on my own. besides, i love Modernmun also Momscare, these are the regular places i go to buy 80% of my baby's stuffs during the Megasales season cos the prices are extremely low during that time.

Now, i think for the next baby's stuffs hunting i should focus more on my needs cos i think we have almost all the baby's essentials. i don't have the brest pump yet. i don't have the warmer & steralizer yet, i don't even have the maternity pad yet! banyak laa...hahaha...never mind, i still have the time kot.

Nowadays, my prayers mostly concentrated on the baby and i always ask for Allah's help to give me strenghts to continue working normally. i must say that i'm getting very very tired easily now. i'm very concern of my students if can't really perfom well in front of them. kesian jugak...

Pregnancy Week 27

That's my baby bump at week 27. it actually bigger that it looks in the picture cos i asked rizal to snap the belly exactly from the side so i look i would smaller. hohhh!!tak sedar diri!

majority of the clothes can't fit me anymore. but never mind, baju2 untuk dipakai di rumah, i still wear and often i have to strecth them to make the bajus bigger. rosak baju.

ohh, surprisingly, last week check up, the doctor said i lost weight...but Alhamdulillah, the baby weight increase and almost 1kg already!! whatttt??? i can't imagine at week 40 how much weight would the baby gain?? takot la pulak if the baby would be too big and hard for me to push her out...but, InsyaAllah, i know pertolongan Allah sentiasa ada untuk hambaNya kan... just have to relax and leave it to Allah.

the most important part is that the baby is doing fine inside as what the doctor said. Syukur. hope she will continue to be strong and active as usual.. :)

At week 27, i decided to take neurogain PB vitamin. i know i kinda left out... i should have taken it earlier but i didn't know about it. even my doctor didn't prescribe me with any vitamins for the baby's brain development. so i decided to take my own initiative and bought it. a friend of mine said that this neurogain is not only for the development of baby's brain, but also for baby's skin and also to help us produce more milk after delivery. she said i should continus taking it after deliver as well.

let's see what week 27 has in store for me,..ohh...WELCOME STRECTHMARK!! i hope it won't be so bad. from the beginning of my pregnancy, i have used BIO OIL to avoid strecthmark but i guess i can't escape...redha ja la...luckily it's not that bad...just emerge sikit2 kat bawah perut.

i am so thankful to Allah for the good health granted to me so far and i can still get up every morning to go to work, going up and down to classes... :)

BOY OR GIRL- The anwer has been revealed~

For some parents-to-be- they decide to keep to themselves about their baby's gender and surprise everybody later. BUT i'm not gonna do that! heheheh...as i always wanted to know what baby am i having since the first day i discovered i was pregnant.

for the past 2 months during the routine check up we have not managed to find out the baby's gender as my baby is a shy type i reckon. it always frustrated me and hubs everytime we saw the ultrasound the baby would always asleep and kept the legs so closed together. so last tuesday we decided to go for 3D scan cos i wanted to know it so bad and also i didn't want to but baby's stuffs in all natural or unisex color.

so Ahamdulillah, before the check up, i did a small talk to the baby asking for baby to spread the legs so i could buy a blue or pink color baju. hahahah... guess what? the method worked! the baby was co-operating BUT this time, the baby decided to look away and not showing the face and was deep asleep! adoi..mak silap teknik la pulak....mak suruh buka kaki lupa suruh tunjuk muka skali...hahahah...tak pa la baby...

so InsyaAllah, both me and rizal will be having a baby.......

my doctor was 100% sure with his result by saying "CONFIRMED! baby girl~" hehe..but kuasa Allah kan...who knows if the doctor was wrong in his desicion.

i think the happiest person is Rizal, as he wanted so much that this baby to be a girl...i don't really bother as for me, girl or boy, it's my baby. but i am very happy cos i get to buy this baby most of HER stuffs in PINK cos it's my favourite color~ hahaha...

Syukur Alhamdulillah...the baby is getting stronger in terms of her kicks and movements these days...very active girl!

haaa....i can't wait to hold u baby girl! ;)

100 days to go!

I’m approximately 100 days to go before I start to PUSH this baby out! HOOOOO MY GOODNESS!!

I am scared to think of all the possibilities. No doubt about it, a very paranoid person like me can’t seem to think positively most of the time. I have started having dreams about going through labour which was a real nightmare. Then I also dreamt about my baby. The pathetic part was I dreamt about how careless I was taking care of the baby. The baby fell down, the baby hit the table and the baby would cry when I was handling. Adoi…Nampak sangat la semua kerisauan ni masuk dlm mimpi. Hopefully they won’t be a reality.

I am a person with zero experience when it comes to handling a child and stuff cos I’m the youngest in my family. My mak would do everything for me and my siblings. So, I guess for the first 30 days upon the baby arrival I would let my mak do everything and I would just observe and learn everything as much as I could before handling everything about the baby’s need on my own. I can’t imagine how it would be. I totally believe that when the time comes, things will also comes naturally for me, HOPEFULLY!

As for the mental preparation so far… I guess I try to not think too much about all my worries. I really don’t need to stress myself. My biggest worry is of course going through labour. What if I can’t stand the pain? What if I die??? But I always try to overcome these fears by asking a lot of help from Allah, to help me when the time comes. And insyaAllah, Allah will always help those in need kan?

I also find myself in tears when I read people’s experience of giving birth. I find all birthing stories very touching laa… and I admire those who manage to go through it successfully despite all the circumstances.

At this point, I really enjoy doing the shopping for baby. LOVE IT! (As if I’m doing the shopping for myself pulak…)hopefully next week we will complete all the major items for baby. Such as clothings, stroller, baby carseat, etc. we have ordered the playpen from Bumble Bee yesterday and I love, love,love it to the max~ they have too many cute designs I couldn’t make up my mind at first. I can’t wait for this Saturday to come, cos we’re going shopping for more. hubs doesn’t want to wait until I hit 7 or 8 months to complete our list of items to buy, cos obviously I think I’m going to be more tired or lazy to be walking up and down the shopping malls.

My doa is always about the baby. I hope everything will be ok, I will be ok. And I hope everybody will pray for me too ya! I’m scared…

Ramadhan with a baby in the tummy~

At first memang agak sckeptical, boleh or tidak menunaikan ibadah puasa pada tahun ini. cos i would always get hungry...but Alhamdulillah, the first day of ramadhan, i was still energetic, going up and down the stairs to classes and felt ok! the hubs was a bit anxious and kept asking whether i was hungry or not...puasa memang la lapar but i could handle it...so thumbs up to the baby inside for understanding and adjusting well with fasting. ;) hopefully the two of us manage to get through this ramadhan without any problem cos i'm planning to complete the 30days of fasting. Amin.


The changes i could feel this time around during the breaking of fast is that i would go for rice the first thing. dulu2 during buka puasa, i didn't eat rice, opted for bihun or kuih2 instead. now, tak boleh la..kena makan nasik! takot tak cukup zat~ hahaha..

Baby's progress: Hmm...the baby will be very active during night as compared to the day..time kita nk rest la dia paling banyak kicking and rolling...during the day, i think the baby sleeps kot..sometimes kena kejutkan dengan pat my tummy to make sure the baby is moving.risau lak. tapi after tepuk2 perut, dia memang moves but i think the baby hates when i do that. i guess betul la kot when my friend cakap, some babies are only very active at night or during our rest hour...time kita relax2 dia tak mau relax. :)

Mom's prgress: okeh despite the gain of weight which i don't want to explain ( baju semua xleh muat) i can't seem to calm down or stop being paranoid. i'm laways worried something would happen to the baby. i had a bad experience with the first pregnancy which resulting in miscarriage. so the worry is always there.i can only pray hard that Allah will protect my baby from anything bad this time around.


Beside that, hmm...the leg cramping is getting frequent. just last night i had like 3 attacks while i was deep into sleep...oohhh...sakit~ so kena always be prepared with minyak angin by the bed. luckily the hubs is good at dealing with my leg cramps. urut terus ilang~ but he has to put up with me la, kejap2 jerit mintak tolong sebab cramp...*sigh*


Husband: well, he's very kind and understanding. syukur Alhamdulillah..i couldn't ask for more. helping with the chores around the house and always trying to make me feel ok. but there are times he annoys me jugak...rasa mauhempukk ja~ hahaha...


First Ramadhan as husband & wife: we don't cook, we buy our foods! almost impossible to cook after a long day at work. insyaAllah, maybe i will try to prepare something during weekend.hari2 kumpul resepi but tak masak pun. :D

ok everyone~ Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa & Selamat Berbuka...

@ ALMOST 6 Months & counting

i have balooned to the extend my doctor thought the scale in his office ROSAK. seriously, it's was so annoying to know that i gained so much weight this month. i blame my eating habit which has increased ever since i entered the 2nd trimester. i feel hungry n want to eat at every 3 hours or so. though i tried to eat as healthy as possible, i think i failed miserably kot. ;(

now, i need to control and choose my food la kot. reduce nasik. i'm worried by the end of the 9 months, i would be like 100kg pulak... PENGSAN~

i do a lot of walking these few days just to make sure i stay active. even though it is a bit tiring. the only excercise that keeps me going is walking in a shopping malls. hahaha...i could walk like 2 hours straight without any rest kalau kat supermarket...so i guess it's a good form of excercise kan? i went for a week course last week at shah alam. i stayed at Quality Hotel and every evening i make sure i would go round that SACC mall, PKNS and plaza Alam Sentral tu without fail for 5 days straight ok. masa jalan memang tak hengat sakit2 ni. balik bilik, semua organ2 bagai nak tecabut!

we had a routine check up yesterday, MasyaAllah, tekejut doctor and i looking at the scale! gila naik berkilo2 bagaikan dipam2... hadoihhh! TAKONYA.

but on the bright side, Alhamdulillah the baby is healthy. i can't believe my eyes every time i see the screen monitor that shows my baby inside my tummy. Syukur sangat2. i'm always worried about the baby and i think a lot about the baby. kalau boleh scan hari2 kan bagus! boleh tengok baby buat apa hari2 kan??

at this point, mom & dad belum tahu baju biru or baju pink to buy cos have not managed to find out the gender everytime we go for check up. looks like we have to go for 3D soon.

at this point, the thing that concerns me is about my weight. i feel like i should not gain so much. is there any possibilities i could lose weight? if i go for a walk and control my eating habit, could i lose some weight? bahaya tak??? i'm not afraid of getting fat. i'm just afraid that the fact of gaining so much weight it would harm me or baby but so far the doctor said everything is OK. :)

alalalala...comel sungguh anak org putih nih~

a neglected blog *phew*

First and foremost, i would like to welcome myself to this blog again! if it has a say, it would have said, where the heck did this owner been all this while?? i feel so neglected indeed..

trust me, i never logged in to my blog until last week.

ever since the last post, i was always busy with work ( yeah right... ;p)

the truth are:

i mean, i had nothing to post.

i was not in a mood.

i was not feeling so well.


I DISCOVERED I GOT PREGNANT, AGAIN!! WEEEEE~

Alhamdulillah, syukur....after all the battle with almost all pregnacy symtoms....i am now in my second trimester. i'm in my 23rd weeks currently. again, syukur Alhamdulillah to Allah The Almighty. the baby is doing well so far. the mom is also doing better everyday. i could only pray that this condition will last till the end..

i didn't feel like sharing much about my pregnancy earlier because i was having a bit of complication at the beginning when my doctor discovered that my uterus was not in stable conditon as i was having the same problem like the first pregnancy which i ended up with miscarriage. i was scared at first. but Alhamdulillah, after the treatments and stuffs, i think the baby decides to stay strong in my womb. and hopefully the baby will be strong till the end, Amin.

i was not granted with a perfect pregnancy moments as i was battling with all sorts of pregnancy symtoms. you name it, i had it all and almost admitted into hospital. there were time i felt giving up like i've had enough of it, i didn't want to get pregnant again, ever...but i guess those were the challenges i needed to overcome. A very good friend of mine always says that all the pregnancy symtoms are actually a blessing in disguise. true indeed.

so, what's the plan now??what's the gender?is it a boy or a girl? i'm supposed to find out next week, insyaAllah. well, the hubs wants a a baby girl so much and he keeps BBMing me with lots of baby girl pictures. i on the other hand, don't bother much...as long as everything is ok and the baby is healthy. ;)

we have started small preparation. we want to take the oportunity during this mega sale time to buy a few stuffs that the baby may need soon. i love shopping for baby now! and i think i'm the regular face of mothercare shop...we go there every week now. (tak beli pun sometimes, tengok saja)

ohh, the due date? InsyaAllah, if all go according to plan, it's going to be a November baby.

I'll try to update this blog frequently from now on...but i dun promise anything. heheh...
i hope anybody who reads this blog will pray for me and my baby as well..i appreciate that soooo much!!

THANK YOU FRIENDS~

yours truly,
norr

where the heck have i been???

Salam...
not sure whether i have people visiting this blog anymore or not...i have been very very quite since the last entry. well, as the matter of fact, i didn't even check my blog at all. BUSY?? nehhh...
life has been tremendoulsly great and full of blessing since we have been married. syukur Alhamdululillah...i coulnd't be more happier. ;)

a lot had been saying, when a person gets married, the rezeki from Allah will be opened as wide as the sky...and it was and is very true indeed. mr. hubster and i could feel the rahmat Allah since we tied the knot! ;) life has been very very peaceful and with the amount of rezeki that granted, we couldn't thank the Power above more..

well, the biggest rezeki of all - last november, i recieved a very happy news after a visit to a clinic... that i was 5 weeks pregnant. well, after a month of getting married, maybe this was what expected laa kan? heheh..

i was shocked & didn't expect that at all...cos i was having light spotting on the day i was supposed to get my period. the long awaited period never came but only light spotting for almost 12 days and i was nausious all the time after i ate. a short trip to a clinic confirmed the pregnancy.

bad news, because i was having spottings the doctor couldn't promise that thepregnancy would survive as she wanted to "clean" my womb. at that moment, i was so damn worried. the very next day, mr.bubster took me to the specialist. and he scanned my tummy and gave me a very positive advice from medical perspective. he said the baby sack looked great and everything was perfect and nothing to be worried about just that i should limit my movements and be very cautious all the time and i had to come for regular check up weekly cos they wanted to monitor the pregnancy. i was so damn relieved. that was the first ultrasound and for the first time the hubster and i were very happy to recieve the best news, ever - the bundle of joy is on its way! ;)

so as the week progressed, i was not feeling so well. i puked all the time. you name it - in the kitchen, in the car, in the office, in the lab & class while i was finishing my lecture. even in a plate while i was eating. without any warning signs. i was really week and there were times i couldn't get up and sleeping were the only medicine to cure the sickness.

poor hubster, he had to take over the job of a housewife. he did all the chores around the house and took great care of me.

the puch card at the office was always blank and i had to explain myself why i was always on leave or MC.

the friends from the office were stating to avoid me. i also isolated myself from the crowd because i didn't feel like talking much. i could feel a very negative energy around me as if they thought i was being lazy, and because i got pregnant, i didn't come to work. what the #*@* - i was so sad. serioulsly, a friend whom i consider a good friend was not so nice to me. i never judged her despite the fact she stabbed me from the back. i forgave her. i could feel a sense of jealosy from her. but never mind~

so as i entered the 8 weeks of my pregnancy i had to undergo the check up procedure like a normal mom-to-be. things were looking great from 2 doctors i visited. just to get 2nd opinions of my spotting condition. both said it would stop when i entered my 12 weeks of pregnancy. the ligt spotting finally stopped at 9 weeks. but the morning sickness were getting worst every day. i couldn't eat. i lost 3 kg in a week. people started to notice that i was losing weight fast. i felt offended a bit. i remembered when i was excited if people said i look slimmer. but it was before i got married. but when i was pregnant, that was the last thing i wanted to hear, i guess. ;p

as i entered my 10 weeks, i was ok a bit. i could eat. and all i did was eating to gain back my weight. for the whole of the week i was eating and eating. ... finally~

but last tuesday, i woke up to have my shower, i notice the spotting was back and it was almost black in color but i didn't feel any pain. i freaked out a bit.

at noon, the hubster came home to take me to our OBGYN, and he scanned my tummy and i was so worried i even closed my eyes. i didn't want to see it. then he calmly said that the baby is gone. and i was misscarried at 11 weeks almost approahing 12 weeks in a few more days..

i was numbed. i couldn't think straight and mr. hubster did all the talking and the decision of what most appropriate. which was to undergo the D&C procedure.

we checked ourseleves in at Putra Medical Center at 3 pm and i was brought to the labor room. the next thing i knew, everything was done. i woke up at almost 10 pm.. i was having a bit of complication at first as my womb was tightly closed. the doctor had to insert some sort of medication to soften the womb and 2 hours later i was in so much pain. it was horrible feelings and mr. hubster was there the whole time comforting me. after maghrib the doctor came to finish the business. i passed out during the procedure. Alhamdulillah, everything is okay now.

i'm in my home sweet home penang now - resting and recovering. i will start teaching again after CNY. i accept my loss and redha with what Allah has determined to me. i feel so bless of having a great family and a few great friends whom i love and treasure. and the best husband ever! this experience has been the biggest so far and i hope the rahmat Allah will come our way again. amin..

as for now, i just want to focus on being a good wife to him as i never got the chance to ever since i got pregnant. so now, it's time to give the hubster more attention and love like he always deserves!~

life's great! Alhamdulillah...