"Bila nak bagi adik kat Maryam?"

Lama tak menaip entry. kekok pulak. ewahhh..mengada! today i've no evening class and office work pun tak berapa demanding sangat hari ni, so i thought of curi masa writing something for the sake of missing writing. ada ka?? hehh...

Rasa macam dah lama sangat tak udpate anything. the reason being ... i have nothing to write. hehehe.. so today i think i have something to write after encountered a few pregnancy stories and got to know that many people who gave birth almost towards the end of 2011 or early 2012, which was my batch la beranak time tu now are already pregnant with their second child. woww... you go girls!! seronok baca stories depa.

Also at the same time, lately i've been getting a frequent question regarding when will i be having the next baby?? 

My first reactions in this topic is always "HAHAH....SOON" just enough to keep them guessing or satisfying with my answer. heheh...

Kalau jawab, "ehh anak i baru setahun tiga bulan you..." confirmed orang balas "ehh...i dulu anak umur setahun dah pregnant balik. tak mau buang masa, etc..etc..etc.."

i am not gonna lie that sometimes i do wish i could post a pregnancy test that shows a double lines or a scan picture of my uterus with a baby sack here. hahaha...

Honestly, it is NOT an annoying question at all. in fact it is a positive question. :) i think i welcome this sort of question anytime. it gets me into the baby mood i think.. i loveeee babies...i remember telling  my hubs that i didn't want Maryam to grow up. i wanted her to remain a baby forever as i see her growing by the day.

Who didn't like babies. their pretty, smell heavenly and adorable looking. kan!! well, messy but cute.

Even the hubs is almost ready for the second baby. he said that to me if ada rezeki maybe we can have another baby this year. 

But mostly i would just keep quiet when he said that. hehehe..dunno how to react. i think i am the one who is not ready for baby number 2 just yet. How la to welcome a new baby?? We're moving into a new house by the end of this year. i think moving into a new house requires a whole lot of energy and time and everything. i can't see myself being pregnant and busy with the new house. i want to be involve in the process of moving out of this current rental house and get busy with the new house too. i can't be sitting and heavily pregnant at that time looking and giving orders to people. that just not fun! hahahah...adakah alasan i ini mengarut??? seriously...

if i get pregnant now, by November i would already be in labour kot. and we're planning to move into the new house around that time also. again, HOW laaa...

The second reason is that i am planning to pursue my post graduate studies this year.InsyaaAllah. and the new semester will take place in September. Unlike those days sem baru started on June tak silap. so now i have to wait for September. i can't register myself in September and like 2 months later tangguh sem pulak because i have to give birth. that's just not me.. at least i should finish one semester and then have my baby number 2. okay kot tangguh. hahahha berniat tangguh jugak rupanya...

Seriously, these 2 agendas in my life currently make me stop wishing to get pregnant soon. not that i simply don't want another baby. i think betul lah kata orang, after sometime, when we forget the pain of giving birth and the baby starts to get a little bit older, we start having the feeling of missing being pregnant again. rite??

yep, i miss being fat like that...and i love looking at the preggers nowadays. simply beautiful. ;)) now i understand, no matter how ugly i felt when i was pregnant previously, i think there are people secretly thinking "ohh seronoknya tengok dia tu pregnant". at least i think that way.

Another reason is that i wanted to be ready. Like 120% ready with the second pregnancy and in welcoming the new one into the family. Physically, mentally, financially and also making sure that My Maryam is also ready to have another sibling too. After a year plus of giving birth i still have not lost a lot of weight. depressing sangat lah tengok badan seniri... i have to get back in shape and energetic mostly if i want to get pregnant. that is why i am currently planning to hit the gym and shake off these fats. i have too much fat. i need to get rid of them first. i want to be healthy while i am pregnant. that's my gold. dok tunggu gym tu bukak next month. baru nak pi. hehh...hari2 i pi buat lawatan tak rasmi tau, ushar gym tu. it's exclusively for female only gym. so tak segan sangat nak gedik santai di situ.

Readiness is very important  in my case as i want to the second pregnancy and baby to be a focus point when the time comes. i didn't manage to breastfeed Maryam for as long as i wanted because of a few circumstances which i think was fully my fault. i didn't equip myself with enough knowledge and also i failed to continue providing her the breast milk at least until she was 6 months. she stopped at almost 5 months only. i don't want to reminiscent of the past thinking how it went wrong. biar la berlalu... and i think Maryam is very healthy and smart girl. she is even more healthy than the brestfed babies i know. so i consider this as our rezeki. Alhamdulillah and i am very proud of her. she is learning to speak nowadays and she uses English too. she's only 15months. ;) see, i'm proud like that. hope when she finally able to read, she will read  this and know how proud mommy is when talking about Maryam.

i went through a not so easy breezy pregnancy stage. with two pregnacies i've had before they were quite tough. one ended with a miscarriage. i disappeared from the blogging world for a while and only managed to write back when i was at 6 months pregnant. when i finally felt good to join this social meadia back. really, my pregnancies were awful. i felt miserable and gloomy at least the first 20 weeks. it was so hard for me back then that i had to take unpaid leave. couldn't work, couldn't eat, couldn't socialise, PUKED ALL DAY... hadoi... so i better rest for a while la.. i know every pregnancy is different. i might have a great pregnancy next. who knows...tak bermakna i cakap camni i takot nak pregnant lagi okay... ;)) bukan i tak enjoy langsung my pregnancy...i had great times too...Alhamdulillah.

ok apa lagi reason i boleh state kat sini?Well...hmm..tu saja kot for now...i want to clarify that i am not rejecting the fact that ANAK ITU REZEKI DAN SIAPA KITA UNTUK MENENTUKAN BILA PATUT DIA DATANG. Not at all, itu cakap orang yang tak beriman pada pendapat i. but, i think in general people have their own reasons of why they plan to gap their childeren's age. as for me, these are basically how i feel. and i don't think it's a right thing to do something without being ready first.i'm just suck at multitasking! hahahha...

okay, peace!

handling these two people in my life pun is quite handful, i think. ;p

p.s. i tak sentap pon orang tanya soalan kat i...i'm fine...herherher...positive kan minda dan hati. 

Wordless Wednesday

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one colorful family.

The End.

*cheesy betoi*

BEING THIRTY.

I JUST TURNED 30 TODAY! weeee.....

how do i feel?? well, being 30 at the beginning of a new year is not that bad okay...i accept that i am finally entering my 30. see i keep repeating the number 30....hahahah...

i guess it is true that age is just a number. u can be 30, 40 or 60... but u can still feel and look great AND appropriate with your age.i don't wanna be in denial that i am no more in my 20's. so i'm just gonna go on with my life like usual.

when i thought about people who were 30 back then, for me these people were basically a well balanced and matured adults. how can we be 30 but not matured?? i don't see the logic here. so this thought kinda gives me some reminder for myself to act and think maturely too.

"Women need to embrace that ‘get better’ mind-set in their thirties, forties and fifties,” i read this line somewhere in a magazine not too long ago. i don’t want to eat anti-aging creams by the dozen in hope I’d stay young, instead of focusing on what I love and staying young at heart.

at this particular age, i guess i am quite stable.In the past, there were amazing events, i met a soulmate, had my baby, but also other events i could have gone without. Getting old is fine to me. and i fell like slapping people in their butt especially people who have a negative mind set that being 30 is soooo frustrating. like u are an old makcik... annoying!

so, turning 30, where i am right now??i don't wanna be crazy over setting a goals or resolutions anymore. remember when we were a lot younger, we loveee making azam baru.. hmm...doesn't appeal no more. hehhh...

just that i think i should focus in navigating mylife right now with simple mindfulness.Being totally myself. Know who I am even more and be it. No hiding, holding back, doing more that I can handle. ( ok yang ni tak sure.hahah).Be rocking at my best. AND most importantly try to improve my relationship with Allah S.W.T. Ameen...

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TO ME.... ;)

2012 Through My Perspective : A Wrap Up On Few Things.

Before i bid goodbye to 2012, i guess it is much appropriate for me to do a little "flash back" and conclude my 2012 so whenever i get old later ( ok now pon dah old. ntah apa2) i could read my blog and reminiscence of the previous years.hahaha...

Beginning of 2012 As A Mother!

i was still struggling with new life of becoming a mom of my sweet potato pie and literally had no idea what to expect and planned to just go with the flow. we brought back Maryam to our home in Perlis after i finished my maternity leave and started to work. boy.... how hard was it being a first time mom and did things for the first time with an infant. i must admit that juggling a modern life with a baby at that time was very challenging. we went through a phase where Maryam was sent to a day care center and then after she fell ill we decided to hire a baby sitter instead. changing 2 baby sitter at that time and finally found the suitable one. she was happy and healthy again.

one thing i was a bit frustrated with my Milk Pumping schedule that really gone hay wired once i started working. it was so stressful and being a lecturer which your core-business is teaching and you have other things to do at the same time, where do i find time to pump??? i basically had no time to pump. the demanding life as a working mother who happened to be an EP mom was totally not ideal for me. i decided to go for fully formula for Maryam when my EBM was running out of stock. boy.....another challenge. i thought it was gonna be simple. it didn't. we change the FM quite a few times till we found the most suitable one.

in was in February 2012 when Maryam finally had a really bad fever that she had to be admitted and we spent a week in PMC where she was dignosed with Acute Bronchitis that was quite bad. kesian sungguh... i hate that moments. moments when i felt hopeless and couldn't do much. hate it when the baby was sick. depressing feelings.

in 2012 i also learnt to prioritize things, and that work came last before family. and i would drop anything if there was a need for me to be with my baby and family. i still put family first till now though.

Being a mom is a tough job. no kidding. up until now i am still seriously thinking whether we are having another baby soon or wait 2-3 years more. 

Yes. it is great being a mom. but behind the smiles and laughters, there swets and tears too. sometimes,i feel like, enough...i am done with one child only. BUT... kesian kan... Maryam loves people. she hates being alone. plays alone...just not her favorite thing. she loves being around people. and make lotsa noise. so, i guess i should be pregnant again. When?? it is still undecided. if you ask my husband, he'll say 2013.InshaAllah if there is rezeki.

2012 : A Wife & Worker!

 i decided to to apply for a transfer from the Perlis to Penang. it was not because i hate Perlis. It was simply because i often found myself feeling not satisfy with the enviroment at the work place. too much negativity. after 5 years being there, i told my husband that i need a new enviroment which could boost my motivation up. Alhamdulillah, i am much much happier a new work place now. i learn a whole lot of new stuffs which i never had when i was in Perlis. i must say that i feel much appreciated here and more optimistic here and my perspective towards my job is much more positive. Well, waking up to work still feels sucks though. hahaha...

But being more positive at work came with a price. it is more than 6 months already that me and my husband have been living a-not-so-long-distance-relationship. hehehe... (ok not funny, why i laugh??) Rizal is still in Alor Star unfortunately still waiting to be transfered to Penang. but nowadays he basically travels daily Penang-Alor Star as compared to previously where we only met on weekends. Now, we are much happier although much tiring for him. i am so thankful that he is willing to sacrifice this for us. money and energy. We're hopeful that 2013 will bring more luck that he would be transfered nearer soon. *keep my finggers crossed*

As a wife, i think in 2012 i have been "neglected" my husband a lil' bit. maybe because i was too caught up with baby and a life after work. and been veryyyy tired to just focus on the husband much. honestly...i need to change this fast... previously 100% time was dedicated to Maryam after work. but she is getting older and i guess i could revert at least quarter or the time for my hubby this coming year. hahahha...boleh?? 

i am lucky to have such an understanding husband. he is very independent around the house too. so maybe because of that i didn't really pay close attention to him which i think it is not healthy in a long run.. even though he never complaints but, i pitty him laa...i need to act more like a wifey. cook him nice meals especially. 

Of Hopes & Dreams In 2013!

i will enroll myself into the university again this 2013. i need to get my postgraduate degree done this year. i have been postponing it far too long already. so, InshAllah, this 2013, it is for real. USM i'm coming back!! heheh...

i cannot wait to move into our first home. our OWN HOUSE. it will be ready slightly before October 2013. that gives me plenty of time to start planning what to do with the house later. especially getting myself a dream kitchen! hahaha..funny i don't cook but i dream of a good looking kitchen. hehhhh~

i hope to send Maryam to play school for a few hours. exposing her to new things and to socialize with friends of her age. but i still have not found any suitable play school yet.

in terms of career, i think 2013, it is the right time to focus on getting a promotion.Try to write and present papers. getting into research mode and things like that...a load of works i tell ya'... i might sink if don't swim... ;)) so proper planning should begin as soon as possible. i mean now.

Possibilities Of Being Pregnant Again!

if i ask myself like seriously... i think i am just not ready to go through it yet. at least for another year resting then maybe i think i will be ready into a baby mode again. hahaha... but, i am not rejecting the possiblities that i might become a pregger again this 2013. after all the biological clock is ticking... hehhh!

Turning The Big 3-0 In 2013!

hooo my goodness... kinda scary to be 30 soon. like in my case. it's happening on January. ahhahaha... tua la kan??

But hey, i read somewhere that for a woman, 30 is a great age whereby your skin is glower, your body is much hotter... so, no need to feel so down ladies..hahahhaha... i hope the statement will apply to me too... HOPEFULLY....

So, with that, i shall say....

 HAPPY 2013 EVERYBODY~ Let's be more optimistic for the coming year... work hard,play hard and shop even harder! LOL..

ohh, don't forget to PRAY harder to Allah as well.

Maryam Bahyraa 1st Bday Party

AMBOI LAMA BETOI TEASER.... hahahaaa... 

Alhamdulillah...the most awaited (ceeewaah) 1st birthday celebration finally settled. leganyaa mommy Maryam Bahyraa ni sebab dapat melepaskan niat di hati untuk buat small celebration for my little girl. And the funny part was when my husband said "no more birthday party next year" uihhh...ya ka??? heheh...

i planned to have the party in december a month after her actual birthday date basically because i was soooo busy with work...okehh benci guna perkataan "busy"... let me rephrase myself, i was too caught up with office work like crazy...malas nak cita bab keja...takkan penah abeh. ok back to the storey... alaa Maryam's belated 1st Birthday Party was not a big one ya. i only invited around 60++ people to the party consisting close friends and relatives and a few neighbors at the taman we recenty moved in. i tought maybe it was a good idea to get to know my neighbor well by inviting them over to eat and chit chat while the kids could play together. i dah pindah ke penang almost 6 months now and i tak kenai pun neighbor i sangat. but, i guess after the they came over to our house now boleh la  senyum2 or stop by and say "Hello" to them pagi2 nak pi kerja or lepas balik keja kan. ;))

so, the party was on 2nd December 2012 at 3 until 6 pm. i planned to have a light meal  sebab nowadays kan banyak kenduri kawen. so a lot of people yang dah kenyang makan nasik kot. so our menu ware:

1. fried behoon

2. homemade fried Chicken

3. tuna sandwich

5. satay with nasik impit

Alhamdulillah all foods were yummy. but we didn't manage to fry some chips and do coleslaw sebab at the very last minute we thought the foods were too much already.

for the party i already planned to have a candy buffet for the kids to enjoy themselves. at first i wanted to do it on my own, but later i decided to hire people to do it for us instead. we hired  Melitingbites to do:

1. birthday cake

2.candy buffet

3.goodies bag

4. party deco

as for the goodie bags for the kids we have:

1.candies

2.chocolate wafer

3.personalised lollypop

4.balloons

5.blower

6.mask

so i cuci tangan saja and enjoy my girl's birthday celebration lah konon...but tak hire any photographer sebab tak dak bajet. heheheh...so sapa tukang amik gambaq?? sapa lagi...i la....but with the amount of the guests coming and going i didn't manage to capture much la... sebab i was more busy with entertaining the guests..and also taking pictures... skali imbas, aku la photographer, aku la penyambut tetamu, aku la tukang segalanya...penat laa party2 ni...

My baby pon busy jugak entertaining the guests. tak dok diam langsung minah tu...sepanjang hari she was on her feet running around the house and we could hear her voice only. excited gamaknya tengok ramai orang. sampai makan pun tak mau..

jum entengok gambaq. biasa la blogging ni kalau no pictures tak best kan. heee...seriously we have a lot more pictures to share but everthing are still safe and sound in the camera. ntah bila nak ada masa godek2 benda alah tu... i'm just too busy to do that at home nowadays.. *patheticnya rasa*

 

i will try my very best to update more family pictures in here.

signage

etc

the birthday outfit. but she ended up no wearing the tutu at all because she hated it. sedeh i...

the invites

the birthday cake. i was ok with it. only i though it would be nicer without the paper deco up there..

during the preparation and deco time.

 

Maryam Bahyraa's 1st bday : teaser

look who's 1 today!

Believe it or not, it was only 12 months ago we welcomed you in life... How much have you grown, and how fast has the time flown!

You may only weigh a few pounds and you are small enough to fit in my arms, but the amount of joy and happiness you have brought in my life is larger than life itself.

 
Wishing you enjoy your first cake, your first candle, your first birthday.

I think it has a lot of fun when you become 1. 

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY SWEET POTATO! 

*big kiss*

Sweet Love,
Mom & Daddy.